If you saw the post-it that I had on my blog all week, then you know that I had special work to do.  I had the week all planned out to really concentrate during school hours and get it all done.

Monday

My agenda: Work on project.

What happened: Girly wakes up vomiting and continues all day.

The result: No work gets done, but I am there to comfort my daughter when she needs me.

Tuesday

My agenda: Make up for a lost day and work on project even harder.

What happened: Girly is still too sick for school, but well enough to talk all day.

The result: No work gets done, but I’m glad that I helped her to feel better.

Wednesday

My agenda: Take a well Girly to school, puppy to daycare and really lock down to work on project.  It’s midweek and I can still get in 3 good days of work if I really concentrate.

What happened:

9 hours in the ER.

The result: No work gets done.  For 9 hours I was cold, uncomfortable, hungry, tired and worried.  But I was blessed to be there.  Blessed to hold her hand, distract her from the needles, watch old Full House re-runs, help her pee in a cup and smooth her hair while she falls asleep.

There is no doubt about it; being her mother is number one on my agenda always.

(She’s fine now.)

Warning: this is a shameless “my kids are so talented” post.  I’m a mother; I can’t help it.

Have I ever mentioned that both of my children play violin?   No?  Well, they do and I’m impressed because I don’t play an instrument at all.  The violin is not an easy instrument to play, especially for little kids; if they start young, it takes six months just to learn how to hold the bow correctly.

My daughter has been playing about 18 months, since age 6 1/2.   She has come a long way in her lessons, when she used to cry if she didn’t play the piece correctly the first time.   This was her first recital and I was so proud of her; she remembered all of the notes and played with confidence.

My son started playing at age 4, so he’s been playing 10 years.   Here he is at age 5 playing for his kindergarten class on his birthday:

When he was six years old he got an amazing opportunity to play for Joshua Bell.  I think the group played “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”, but they brought the house down.  He carries this photo in his violin case for inspiration.

Besides private lessons like my daughter, he also plays in the school orchestra and a city orchestra here in Atlanta.   This video was taken at the same recital, given by their private teacher.   The piece that he played, “Haydn Concerto in G Major”, was about 7 minutes long, but I edited it down to just a few excerpts.

The kid has skills and that’s not just the mamma in me talking.

I regret not having a 3^rd child.  It’s bluntly said, without any fanfare or fancy introduction sentence because that’s how I’m feeling right now.   Regret is a powerful emotion because it means that you can’t do anything about the situation, but live with it.  Well, technically I can do something about it—have a baby—but considering my husband is quite adamant about leaving our family just the way it is, it’s not really a possibility.  But I’m going to walk it out and let myself explore the possibility of getting pregnant one more time.

While I enjoyed being pregnant twice before, there are things that are not so pleasant: the weight gain, nausea, exhaustion and all the other mysterious ailments that bombard a pregnant body.  And let’s not forget the pain of childbirth, an experience really best forgotten or remembered through the hazy, rose-colored lens of time.

Of course once the baby is here there are the sleepless nights, leaky breasts, endless crying (both me and the baby), constant cleaning and the whole 24/7 of it all.  When would I find any time for me? It’s something that I have slowly grown accustomed to.  I like having the space to explore different parts of me; that would be hard to give up.   With a baby, my day would revolve around nap times, which of course the old saying goes, I really should be napping also.  As much as my mind thinks that I am 25 years old, it’s actually not true (are you as surprised as I am?); I would need to nap!

The truth is that I would be a different kind of parent for the 3^rd child because Gymboree groups and floor play are not as fun as they once were.   I relished those days when I did it, but there are only so many games of Candyland that you can play without wanting to bang your head on the table.  What I once found delightful and fulfilling does not seem appealing to me anymore; I can’t even romanticize it.  I like sleeping all night, wearing clothes free from spit-up and being able to take my children anywhere; naptime meltdowns or tantrums are no longer a threat.  I really enjoy the conversation and fun that I have with my children now.   The last few years of traveling have been so light: no strollers, sippy cups, snacks or toys needed.

Do you know what else I’ve discovered, by having a teenager?  Mothering doesn’t get any easier!  The infant/toddler parenting is physically exhausting, yes, but a piece of cake compared to the anxiety and worry that goes into making sure that you are releasing a decent human being into the world in just a few short years.  I think I know too much now.  It’s probably best to have children all at once—knock them out, as people say—before you have too much time to reflect on what an awesome responsibility you have undertaken.

These are sound arguments for being thankful for the 2 wonderful children that I have and not even consider having a 3^rd–and I’m sure that my husband can come up with many others.   Still I can’t deny that I feel regretful.  Now that I see how fast it goes—zoom!—I wish that I would have been more intentional about planning my family.

My kids started school today.  Although we will miss the lazy days of summer, they were ready for school to begin and so was I.  Maybe it is because I didn’t have much time out of graduate school before I got married and had kids, but I tend to measure time by the school year rather than the calendar year.  So the end of August/beginning of September is really like the start of a new year–So exciting!  So full of promise!   I can’t wait to sit down with my iCal and plan out a great year for myself.   Maybe I’ll even wander into Staples or Target and pick up a new notebook and pen.

My husband and I both take the kids to school on the first day and walk the youngest into the classroom.  And as always I take photos.  I have always done this; it is tradition.  My daughter happily smiled outside of school and inside the class room as well.  She’s an old pro in 2nd grade now, so we didn’t hang out too long, just long enough to get her settled and take a few shots.

Check out her cool new lunchbox from Lunchboxes.com

On the other hand, this is a photo of my son:

For the first time ever, he refused to let me take his photo on the first day of school.   Today is his first day of high school and I was trying to be sensitive by asking to take the photo in the parking lot with no one remotely nearby.   He willingly gave me a hug and kiss, but he was adamant about not being photographed.   My husband tried to hold his lunchbox hostage until he took the photo, but I told him to give up the lunchbox and let the boy go.  It was a bittersweet start of the new school year.  Let the boy go….I think that we will be doing so much more of that now.

As he walked away, I turned around so he wouldn’t see me cry.

From ages 4-8 my son took acting classes at a neighborhood theater in our little New Jersey town.  The kids did theater games during each class and the semester finished with a musical; each child had an equal amount of lines and their own solo.  I still remember the first musical, Candyland; my son was Peppermint.  Most of the kids were so frightened of being on stage that they mumbled their lines and whispered their song–they were only 4 years old after all.   But not my son; he stood on that stage and sang “I Fall to Pieces” in the loudest, clearest, sweetest voice.  After the performance a man said to us, “Your son does a great Patsy Cline!”

He went on to play an elephant in The Floating Zoo (based on Noah’s Ark), a turtle in James and the Giant Peach, and Chuckie in Toons On The Loose.  He always gave a good performance and had a great time, but really didn’t think of acting again after we moved to Atlanta.

That is, until last year when he played Winthrop Paroo in his school’s jr. high production of The Music Man.    Although I knew that he was talented at many things, I was very pleasantly surprised by his performance of “Gary Indiana” shown here on YouTube.

As you can see, he had a ball; I think that he has been bitten by the acting bug now.  This week he’s in the jr. high musical, Suessical; here he is on YouTube performing “Monkey Around”.  He just got a part in a fall production of The Sound of Music as well.   Musical theater camp and dance lessons this summer will only tighten his game for the high school productions in the near future.

When you see his name in lights one day, remember you saw him here first!