Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering the prompt:  4.) A time you hurt a friend’s feelings.

I’m going to take different spin on this and talk about a time when I hurt another blogger’s feelings.  So often we meet people through social media and develop relationships online. We form opinions of that person that may or may not be who they really are.

This is about such an encounter.

It was her first blog conference and she didn’t know anyone; she was excited to learn that I would be there.  I was excited to meet her too because we had some great exchanges online.  We met at the conference, exchanged hellos and pleasantries and then went about our separate ways.  We attended sessions as our interests dictated, waving hello if we crossed paths again.

We stayed in touch throughout the year on Facebook and Twitter.

A year later we were at the same blog conference and I suggested that we hang out.  That is when she told me that I hurt her feelings when we first met a year ago.  She said that I was not how she thought I would be. She didn’t think I liked her and was in fact surprised when I suggested that we get together this year.

My jaw hit the floor; I was truly shocked.  How could she think that?  I really liked and respected her and thought our initial connection was positive.

She said that I was “aloof” when we first met.  She thought that I would be bubbly and talkative and I didn’t meet her expectations.   Her feelings were hurt because she assumed that I was that way with other people.  My husband, who was there during this conversation, assured her that I was excited to meet her because I told him so.  He also told her that my aloofness had nothing to do with her because I was like that with everybody.

Now wait a minute!   I was not happy to be called aloof by her or my husband.  I am not aloof; I am friendly and warm and welcoming….

Oh wait.  Maybe not so much.  Not with strangers anyway.  I am not bubbly nor do I speak small talk.   I like to think that I fall somewhere between a “what’s up” head nod and a big bear hug.   Is that aloof?

My husband is the opposite; he is your best friend as soon as he meets you.  He’s a hugger and a small-talker.   He feels like he has to prep me when we are going to an event with strangers, “Now Honey, try to be nice and smile.”  I do smile and I am nice, I’m not just your instant best friend.

I’m not shy and I’m not reserved.  I’m more of a it’s-nice-to-meet-you-but-I’m-going-to-see-how-this-plays-out-before-I-invest-too-much-time-and-energy-into-this-relationship kind of person.

But with people I know?  I am warm and loving and really you could not find a better friend.  When I give a hug, it’s for real.   It just takes me a minute to get there.

So maybe I can be a tad aloof with people I don’t know.  I apologized to my blogger-friend because despite my personality quirks, I would never want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

The funny thing is, she admitted that she has the same personality as me and because of that, she was looking at me to initiate the friendly hellos.  So it was not that I projected myself to be different, she wanted me to be.

The next time I’m at a conference I’ll try to “be nice and smile.”  That aloof woman sitting next to me just might need it.

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

My Happiness Project is a personal quest to bring more happiness into my everyday life.  As I continue to explore, experiment and write about My Happiness Project, I hope that you would share your happy experiences and thoughts with me.

Like Gretchen Rubin did in her book, The Happiness Project, I decided to make a list of activities that I consider fun and that I don’t consider fun.  The idea is the do the fun things and don’t waste my time doing the things that are not fun.  This is my list.  Your list will be different.  Don’t judge me.

FUN

Playing board games (except Monopoly; I will never play with my family again.)

Riding roller coasters.

Traveling.

Organizing.

Baking.

Decorating.

Reading a book.

Going for a walk.

Hooping (as in hula).

Playing with my dog.

Singing out loud.

Dancing with abandon.

Talking (in person) to friends.

Going to art museums.

Seeing live theater productions.

Browsing a hardware store.

Getting a pedicure.

Playing Wii Just Dance 2.

I’m playing Wii Just Dance 2 at Blogalicious 2010. Fun!

NOT FUN

Cooking.

Talking on the phone.

Watching television.

Getting a manicure.

Participating in a cold outdoor sport.

Running.

Running in a 5k fundraiser for kids’ school.  Never. Again.

Hmm….the Not Fun list isn’t very long.  I must be lying to myself somehow because I’m too quirky and opinionated to have a short list like that.  I will think about this some more and add to the list.  And I see that my husband doesn’t like anything on my Fun List.  Hmmm…..

Do you have a defined list of what you consider fun and not fun activities?

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Other Posts About My Happiness Project:

My Happiness Project: Appreciate The Small Things That Make Me Happy

My Happiness Project: Laugh Some More

My Happiness Project: Laugh More

My Happiness Project

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

My Happiness Project is a personal quest to bring more happiness into my everyday life.  As I continue to explore, experiment and write about My Happiness Project, I hope that you would share your happy experiences and thoughts with me.

This post was inspired by a question in Real Simple magazine.  In one of my favorite features, every month the magazine asks a question, encourages readers to respond and then prints the readers’ answers.  I have never given Real Simple my answers to their questions, but I often answer them on my own.   This question fits right in with My Happiness Project: What is the One Small Thing That Always Makes You Happy? It’s an excise in appreciating the small, everyday things that bring us joy.

Here are 3 things in my everyday life that make me happy:

1. Really good tea.  I particularly enjoy iced tea (1/2 sweet, 1/2 unsweet).  Nordstrom Bistro, one of favorite lunch spots, has really good iced tea.   I must say that this is a benefit to living in The South; it is almost a law that an eating establishment must serve iced tea.  Occasionally  you do come across a rare restaurant (usually trying to be “hip”) that does not and then I just have to tell them about themselves.   Or even worse, they serve bottled tea like Arizona or Snapple.  The nerve!  The only bottled tea that I will drink is Sokenbicha’s Alive or Defend.   It’s unsweetened, has zero calories and is purely delicious.  I have at least 1 a day.

I can be such a nerd about office supply products.  I’m saying this to preference my next 2 Small Things That Always Make Me Happy.

2. Good writing instruments.  I hide my pens and pencils from my family.   They will write with anything, like crappy bank freebies, so why should I share my carefully bought pens and pencils? (I must add a caveat to the crappie freebies: Ritz-Carlton and St. Regis hotels both have great pens; I keep these in my purse because they are slim.)  Besides losing my good pens, my family feeds them to the dog and then I have to get all crazy, so it’s better if they just leave my stuff alone.   Right now my favorite pen is Uniball 201 Retractable Medium-Point Gel Pen.  It has a smooth flow of ink; there’s no hesitation or ink drips.  I like the finger grip and the retractable-ness prevents leaks (and makes a snappy sound too).  See, I told you that I’m an office supply nerd.

My pencil of choice is the Papermate Sharpwriter #2 Mechanical Pencil.   I originally bought them for my children, but fell in love with the always sharp point.  Sharpening wood pencils grates my nerves.   On the other hand, children love sharpening pencils, so I let them use the smiley-faced pencils that always fill party goodie bags, while I hide the Papermate pencils for my own use.

3. Pretty file folders.  I have a big filing cabinet with the normal, boring file folders, but I hardly look at those.  The file folders that I keep on my desk, the folders that I use everyday, are much more pleasant to use if they are pretty.  I have gotten some lovely folders from See Jane Work in the past, but my latest set came from Staples; there are many more mas-produced decorative office supplies than there used to be.  Since I spend many hours a day at my desk, this small thing really brightens my day.

See how pretty?

These are few small things that make me happy and as I continue my journey to happiness, I will mindfully look for more.  What about you; what are the small things that make you happy?

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Other Posts About My Happiness Project:

My Happiness Project: Laugh Some More

My Happiness Project: Laugh More

My Happiness Project

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

My Happiness Project is a personal quest to bring more happiness into my everyday life.  As I continue to explore, experiment and write about My Happiness Project, I hope that you would share your happy experiences and thoughts with me.

In my last Happiness Project blog post I talked about how watching a favorite sitcom can make me laugh; reading humorous material is an even better happiness boost.    For instance, Lisa Kogan always makes me laugh while reading her monthly article in O, The Oprah Magazine.    I actually keep a file folder called “Funny Things” that holds all the clippings that I find so funny that I want to read them again.   As part of my Happiness Project to “laugh some more”, I pulled out that folder and re-read some favorites.

The essay “Woof: A Plea of Sorts” by  George Saunders is part of his book, The Braindead Megaphone and while I didn’t enjoy the whole book, this essay is brilliant.

Written from the perspective of the dog, the essay is quirky and most definitely strange.  And I admit, not funny to everyone.  My husband does not think this essay is funny.  As I told you, we don’t share the same sense of humor.   He read it and said, “cute” with a faint smile on his face.   On the other hand, I was laughing so hard that I was shaking, crying and dripping snot.   I cut it out the September 2007 issue of O Magazine, but  I couldn’t find the essay online anywhere to share with you, just an except on Google Books.   Click on the Google Books link and see if it makes you laugh too.  If so, we can most definitely be friends.

Another article that made it into my “Funny Things” folder, but also (more disturbing) my “hmm…that’s really not a bad idea” file in my brain is “My Last Party” by Linda S. Amstutz.

I find it funny because I would so do this!  I cut it out from Skirt, but Linda also has it on her blog, under the title “Over My Dead Body.”   Read it and tell me, do you find this morbid or funny?   Your answer will probably alter the course of our friendship.

What do you read to make you laugh?  Please share; I can always use a good laugh!

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Other posts about My Happiness Project:

My Happiness Project: Laugh More

My Happiness Project

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

My Happiness Project is a personal quest to bring more happiness into my everyday life.  As I continue to explore, experiment and write about My Happiness Project, I hope that you would share your happy experiences and thoughts with me.

I absolutely love to laugh; don’t you?  Laughter is a great stress reliever and a mood lifter.  It’s also a good relationship binder; I have the closest relationships with people with whom I share laughter.   While my husband and I don’t have the same sense of humor (in movies, TV, books or any comedic entertainment), we both try to find humor and lightness in everyday situations.  As a family we joke around together and most of us find it funny, most of the time; just check out some of our road trip videos on YouTube.   But sometimes if I’m grinding too hard, I forget to look for the funny.   Or maybe nothing is funny and life really does suck today.   In that case, I need some help.  In my new search for everyday happiness, I’ve remembered some things that have made me laugh, like sitcoms.

I don’t watch much television, but when I do, I watch sitcoms.  My favorite shows used to be Frasier and Seinfeld; now it’s Modern Family.  Scrubs was another favorite show; it was just plain silly.  I saw the episode below on the airplane and I was silently laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face.  It was so funny to me that during the taxi ride from the airport I thought of this scene and laughed again–audibly, very loudly–for the entire ride home.  My family just stared and pronounced me crazy as usual.

The entire episode is in 3 parts on YouTube.  This is the 2nd part. The 6:45 mark is where I completely lose it.  Still.

Is it just me or is that HILARIOUS?

Do you have a favorite television show or scene that always makes you laugh?

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Other posts about My Happiness Project:

My Happiness Project

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.