*Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering the prompt: 4.) Can you almost stop time with your words? Write about the fastest ride you ever had, but describe only a few seconds of it…as though it was happening to slow motion.

I love roller coasters.  Disney World is more my speed these days than Six Flags, but still I love a good thrill.  Space Mountain and Expedition to Everest (my favorite ride at Disney World) are very fast.  Tower of Terror, not a roller coaster but nevertheless a thrilling ride, is probably the fastest and the most what-in-the-world-was-I-thinking ride.  But my time-stopping slow mo fast ride happened on Disney’s  Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. Actually it’s what happened before I got on the ride that made time stand still.

As I have said before, I am not afraid of too many things (except sharks) but lately I have become extremely claustrophobic.  This is a new, surprising development for me because I am generally a calm person; I’m pretty unflappable.   I have explored the pyschological reasons for my anxiety, but I won’t bore you with the underlining issues.   I have noticed that I get particularly anxious when all three of my triggers are in play at the same time: heat, small spaces, and crowds.   I can handle each one individually, but when they are all together in a no-exit environment, I can go from zero (calm) to sixty (get me out of here!) very quickly.

Disney World is the perfect storm for a claustrophobic panic attack.  During peak visiting times, like our last Disney trip, the ride operator crowds the lines, which are often inside narrow hallways without any ventilation, and the lines move slowly.  I have no problem with small, crowded, hot spaces as long as I move through quickly–it’s staying in those spaces that freaks me out.   I was anxious about the line for Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster because it is one of the most popular rides at Disney World and I knew the line would be crowded and slow moving.  However, I do not like the descepancy between my roller coaster-loving self and my claustrophobic self, so I decided to take the risk.   I wouldn’t have even considered riding if we didn’t have the special media Fast Passs that allowed us to start in the shorter line.  As my husband and I joined the line inside a dark building, these are my thoughts:

This is the Fast Pass line?  It’s long.

My heart is pounding so fast, this can’t be good.

Why do they keep these buildings so dark?  Why is the ceiling so low?

There are so many people in here.

Is there a way out?  Where is the nearest exit?

Take off my coat.  Good.  Okay, at least I’m not hot.

I refused to packed in like a sardine and they can’t make me.

My husband looks concerned and asks me if I’m okay.

I tell him to stop talking to me; I need to concentrate.

I think if I keep a wide path around me and not let myself get crowed, I can handle it.

Two people-length.  Don’t let anyone get closer than two people away.

Focus.  Focus on the flower on that girl’s sweatshirt.  Like in birthing class.

We are going around a bend.  Uh-oh, I know how these lines twist and turn.

I can’t take it anymore.  It’s the fear of the unknown, so I ask a lady next to me who has obviously ridden before: What comes next?  Is it much further?  Does it get more narrow and darker?  She assures me that we are almost there.

We enter a room.  Thankfully they don’t pack too many people in the room, but it is dark and I can’t see the exits.  There is no way out and I start to panic.  My heart is pounding so hard.

I fully expect to faint right now.  Not that I ever have, so I don’t know what that means.  Still.

I can barely breath.  This can’t be good for my oxygen level.

What will happen if I faint?  Will anyone notice?

James is watching me.  That’s good.  He’ll notice if I hit the floor.

Take deep breaths.  In and out.  In and out.  Deep and slow.  I can do this.

Count to ten.  Haven’t I read that somewhere?  Count to ten slowly.

It seems to be working.  I haven’t fainted yet.

I really need to learn how to meditate.

Oh, it’s Aerosmith talking on the screen.  Pay attention.

If I wasn’t so freaked out, I would think this is cool.

This video is way too long.  Finish already!

Oh, the doors are opening.  Freedom!

No wait.  We are in some sort of cage.

A cage!  Are they kidding me?

Where is James?  Doesn’t he know I’m hanging by a thread?

At least there are no closed doors.  Just keep the people away; don’t let them crowd me.

Finally I’m out the cage!  I’m free!

And just like that my anxiety subsides and completely disappears.  The room is big, I’m in cool air and the people are more dispersed.  The line is moving fast and it’s almost my turn to ride.  I switch from anxious to excited and hop in the car with a big smile on my face.  I love roller coasters!  This is why I fought my claustrophobic demons and I’m glad that I did.  The roller coaster takes off like a shot and I am flying through complete darkness with Aerosmith music blasting in my ears.

WOO-HOO!

Today my sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc, was founded in 1908 on the campus of Howard University.   It is the oldest Greek-lettered organization established by African American college women.  I pledged Zeta Alpha chapter at Arizona State University in the 2nd semester of my sophomore and I think it was one of the best things that I have ever done.

Surprised that I am a sorority girl?  I was surprised myself that I wanted to pledge!  I never thought of myself as a “sorority type” because I was artsy and a bit strange, but a friend talked me into going to an information “tea” and I liked what I heard.  Truth be told, the existing members didn’t quite know what to make of me when I entered the room for my interview.  I will never forget: I wore a long black dress, black boots and a black hat.   And there they were…in their pearls and silk dresses.  I was out of place for sure!   But they took a chance on me (I think I had good recommendations) and every one of them eventually came to love my quirky style.

Pledging was rough–I’m not going to lie–but it was not physically harmful in any way.  The most challenging part was trying to do all that was required of a pledge and still study for my classes.   Honestly it is almost impossible to pledge and not have your grades slip a little and mine did; I made it up though and still graduated with honors.   From an outsider (someone who is not Greek), pledging looks stupid and senseless.  While I admit that many of the things that we were asked to do were stupid and senseless, it was all to teach us how to be “one unit” and look out for each other.  Sort of like the military.  And of course once we were in the sorority, we got our chance to mess with the new pledges.  Once my roommate was the dean of pledges and so I had special torture privileges because they came to my room everyday.   Lucky for them I was in my senior year and busy, so I didn’t demand too much, but just to be mean, my Big Sister name was “Chilly As In Ice–Not Nice”.   Ha!   I loved messing with them, but once they were in, I was as sweet as pie.  One of my pledges is a good friend to this day, so she has forgiven me.  :-)

I don’t know if I would have pledged if I had gone to another school or if my experience would have been so great somewhere else, but at ASU I have the best memories.   Having been an only child my whole life, I experienced sisterhood like I had never felt before.  I lived in the sorority dorm with my sisters and every day was so much fun.  My line sister and roommate Sondra became one of my best friends.   After graduation we never again lived in the same place and the chaos of life caused us to not even keep in touch that much, but I saw her recently and it was like old times; we sat in a restaurant for 5 hours talking non-stop.   There is a bond there created by Alpha Kappa Alpha.

I could give you a history lesson about all the community service that the sorority does or how we are dedicated to seeing women succeed in college and beyond, but for me it was all about the sisterhood.    Many of my sorors were in my wedding and one of my favorite memories of that day is when they surrounded me and sang our sorority hymn.   That song still always makes me cry.

*Dictionary Sidebar: “Soror” is what we call each other and “line sister” refers to the people who pledged with us.  Oh, and if you don’t know, “Skee-Wee” is the sound that other AKA’s make to greet each other or just let other people know that we are in the house.  It’s really high-pitched and has been known to break glass.

And talk about having fun!   We threw parties, went to other Greek parties, participated in school-wide Greek functions, took road trips to other colleges and had many late-night pajama parties.   Of course there was friction sometimes–have you ever known a group of women to not have friction?   But in the end it always came down to one thing: we were sisters.

On a road trip to a SDSU step show

At UCLA stepshow

ASU was not a very diverse school, that is to say, the black people were scarce.   And it is also one of the biggest schools in the country, an easy school to feel lost and alone in if you don’t have a crew.   I was far away from my Minnesota home and I only knew one other person on campus before coming to school; joining the sorority gave me an instant family and a place to belong.  And not just in my own sorority.   Because most of the other Black Greek Organizations were relatively small chapters like ours, all of us were one family.   Of course there was friendly rivalry, but with so few of us at the school, there was no room for dissension.

I have many, many fond memories but one of the best is when I got “kid-napped” while pledging.   It is not unusual for fraternities members to try to kidnap a pledge and for that reason pledges were never supposed to be somewhere alone.    However one night I had to study in the library and for whatever reason, I went alone.    When I was done studying I left the library and unlocked my bike to ride back to my dorm room.   Just then two members of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity (our brother fraternity) surrounded me and I had nowhere to run.   Since I was going to be in trouble anyway with my Big Sisters for being kidnapped, I figured that I might as well have fun.   I asked them to take me to Haagen-Dazs for ice cream and they did, but when we got there, they only had 7 cents between them!   They were broke!   I had to buy my own ice cream, can you believe it?  It was so ridiculous that I still have the 7 cents taped in my scrapbook.   Wait–It gets worse.  When they returned me to the library to get my bike, it had been stolen because they whisked me away right after I had unlocked it.  And they were too broke to replace it!  Eventually I shamed them into scrounging up 1/2 of the money for a new bike and good faith between our respective organizations was restored.   And yes, my line sisters and I totally got blasted for my kid-napping.  It’s funny now, but it wasn’t funny then.

Really I could go on and on with all kinds of stories.   It’s funny because many people who have met me after graduate school don’t even know I’m an AKA.  I don’t have a license plate and I rarely wear my letters.   I’m not currently active in a graduate chapter.   I do not feel the need to let people I meet know about this part of my life; more often than not it is my husband who will tell others about my sorority membership.   Yet, my sorority is something very dear to my heart.  I have fantastic memories of my college years and I know it is because of Alpha Kappa Alpha.

Thank you Alpha Kappa Alpha for having a vision more than 100 years ago of sisterhood and service.  This quirky, artsy girl will always proudly wear her pink and green.  Skeeeeeee-Weeeee!

I just got back from Blogalicious 2009.  This was my first blogging conference so I didn’t quite know what to expect, but I was very impressed by the conference as a whole; the venue was beautiful, the food was fantastic, the sponsors were generous, the swag bags were overflowing, the parties were jamming and the lovely hosts from MamaLaw were gracious and efficient.  The information that I obtained was varied and rich and the women bloggers that I met were interesting and smart.  The keynote speeches from James Andrews (my husband) and Karen Walrond were inspirational, while sessions like Taking Your Blog to the Next Level and Secrets to a Successful Blog provided good answers, but I left the conference also asking myself more questions.  Questions like: Am I blogging with purpose?  Am I passionate?  Am I even doing this right?  And mostly…Why do I blog?

I asked and I answered:

I blog to give information in categories like Techknow Mama, Things I like and Ma-Gyver.

I blog to entertain in Kickin’ It Old School and through many of the silly travel family videos that I post in T as in Tango.

I blog to build a community through posts about myself and my family in What About Me, My Charmed Life or Word From the Mother.  I hope that the more you know about me, the more you will share about yourself; that creates community.

I blog Deep Stuff to foster discussion and conversation.  I’m a thinker and I know you are too.

I blog to save the world from mediocrity.  We’ve got to keep the bar high people.  We’re all fabulous; let’s live it!

Through it all, I blog to tell stories.  As Scott Rosenberg says in his book, Say Everything: How Blogging Began, What It’s Becoming, And Why It Matters, “A [blog] post is a shared memory….And in the end, that’s what we want and need to remember about our lives, and the lives of others: not factual details but meaningful stories.”  Whether I am writing about Disney World, my marriage, Henry Louis Gates or the best cupcakes, I aim to do it with passion, transparency and authenticity in a way that hopefully makes you remember your own stories.

I blog because I have a voice and I have something to say.  And that is reason enough.

*This is an on-going list that I will update from time to time.

Own another dog *This is my sweet Chili Dawg!

Swim with dolphins

Travel to the South Pacific Islands

Stay overnight in an Irish castle (because I am royalty, after all)

Rent a villa in Tuscany

Learn to surf (that could be a problem as I am afraid of sharks)

Write my memoirs

Appear on Sesame Street

Own a horse

Go on safari

Live on the beach

There.  It’s out there.  God, are you listening?

I heard this song the other day and it brought back memories.  I honestly don’t remember any other songs by Mass Production, but “Firecracker” was the jam!   I still know all the words, as I am gifted like that, but this particular song is burned in my memory for a reason.

I was in 7th grade when I decided to try out for the pom-pom squad; this was a big deal because most of the girls on the squad were 8th graders.  Pom-pom and cheerleading wasn’t really even my thing, but you know, this was 7th grade and I wanted to be a part of something and be popular in Jr. High.   Fortunately, I had 8th grade neighborhood friends who let me be a part of their try-out team.  They were a cool bunch, hip on all the latest music and dance moves; they chose “Firecracker” as our performance song.   For weeks we rehearsed our routine after school until it was flawless.  Finally the day came for try-outs….and I woke up terribly sick.  Not a fake I-don’t-want-to-go-to-school Ferris Buller kind of sick, but an Oh-God-no-this-can’t-be-happening-to-me kind of sick.  I had to stay home from school and missed the pom-pom try-outs.  But do you want to know what made it really bad?  The “ain’t that a blip” about the whole thing?  EVERYONE ON MY TEAM WHO TRIED OUT MADE THE POM-POM SQUAD.

And that’s why I will never forget “Firecracker.”  But despite my tragic adolescence recollection, it’s still a jam.  Take a listen ♬: