*Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering the prompt: 1.) Your childhood neighborhood.

I moved a lot as a child, so in reality I don’t have one childhood neighborhood, but I do identify with one neighborhood in particular, Stonebridge, in Hazel Crest, Illinois.   We moved there from Chicago the summer that I turned 10.

It was a big move.  We lived in an older home in Chicago in a more established neighborhood, but Stonebridge was in the suburbs;  everything was new and shiny–including our house and all the furniture in it.   There was an attached garage, family room, den, separate dining and living rooms, a huge eat-in kitchen, swanky new appliances, an office for my dad and a big back yard, perfect for my new puppy.

It looked like a neighborhood on television.  The houses weren’t cookie cutter, but there were only about 6 variations.  They were laid out differently, painted different colors and tweaked a little here and there, but it looked like a cohesive neighborhood.   All the lawns were green and freshly mowed.  Our parents belonged to the Stonebridge Neighborhood Association, which I supposed made sure that residents took care of their property, but really I think that it was just an excuse to drink and play cards together.

My family can’t remember the house number, but at least I found the street on Google Maps.

But then I “walked” down the street and found my old house!  I love Google Maps! Wow, the house and neighborhood still look great.

It was a neighborhood full of kids and I had many friends.  I lived there for only 3 years before moving to Minnesota, but I made some great memories.  Here are a few:

• The park.  It was really a huge retention basin.  If someone pushed you,  you would roll all the way down to the bottom–which made it perfect for both your enemies and for sledding.

• Chasing my dog (who frequently escaped from the backyard) around the neighborhood with my friends.   He always ended up in the creek, a muddy mess.

• Bathing said muddy dog.

• The library.  It was small–I swear that I read every book in the kids’ section at least twice–but I loved it.

• Riding my bike through a construction site and down the sides of giant dirt holes.  The mother that I am now is chastising my kid self, “Don’t you know that you have been buried alive in one of those dirt holes, girl!”

• Walking to Pottawatomie Hills Elementary School.  In the cold.  Uphill.  Both ways.  I lived 5 houses away from the bus stop, but within the school district’s parameters of “too close to ride the bus.”   I don’t know how many miles it was, but it was hella far (that’s a true measurement of distance, anyone will tell you).  On very cold days, my friend’s mom drove us to school in her fire-engine red station wagon.

• My favorite teacher at Pottawatomie Hills Elementary School, Mrs. Bloom.

• Recess at Pottawatomie.  For my friends and I,  Four Square was our game and it was serious business; we played for blood and took no prisoners.   When we weren’t knocking out fools in Four Square,  we took over the Merry Go-Round and wouldn’t let other kids on unless they paid us in candy.  We called it “The Church of Savior”, shouting it as we spun round and round.  We were small, yet charming; that is the only explanation to why kids gave us candy and didn’t just knock us off the Merry Go-Round.

• Riding my bike to Baskin-Robbins.  I always got 1 scoop of Chocolate Chip and 1 scoop of Daiquiri Ice.  It sounds strange, but trust me, they taste good together.  Then my friends and I would crash our bikes on the way home because “we had too many daiquiris.”

• Halloween.   The neighborhood association made sure that we were safe while having fun.  Every few houses there was an open, decorated garage with doughnuts and hot cider.  Presumably the stop was for these goodies, but in reality it was to check our candy for tampering.

• Sleepovers with my best friends.  Making our famous popcorn (Jiffy Pop mixed with whatever candy and other snacks we had lying around), practicing the latest dance moves and falling asleep to Saturday Night Live.

• Group outings to Pizza Hut.  In retrospect I feel so bad for whoever waited on us: a gang of 12 year olds, sharing a small pizza and leaving $1 tip, if any, most likely covered in parmesan cheese.

• Practicing for pom-pom tryouts at my friend/neighbor’s house and the disappointment that followed.

I am still good friends with some of my Stonebridge friends, and on Facebook I am finding old friends all the time.  We all still love Stonebridge and feel such a strong connection to it and each other that we are organizing a family reunion of sorts, getting the old neighborhood back together again.  I’m excited to see everyone and and excited to show my kids a part of my past–a seemingly small part measured by conventional time, just a mere 3 years–but a very large part of me.

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

*Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering the prompt: 3.) Steppin outside the box (describe a time when you went way out of your comfort zone).

I like to challenge myself.  Sometimes it ends well, as in story number 2 and sometimes not so well, as in story number 1.  Either way, I learn and grow (or look ridiculous).  I posted these stories last year when the Facebook note “25 Random Facts About Me” was circulating.   I only posted 12 facts because that was more than enough; these are #10 & #11.  If you are at all intrigued at my obvious lack of shame, check out the rest.

I stepped outside my comfort zone when I tried to windsurf because: #10  I love the beach, but I’m afraid of the ocean.  Mostly the sharks in the ocean.

I love, love, LOVE the beach and plan living near the ocean (again) someday.  Looking at the water both soothes my soul and gives me energy at the same time.  At least once a year I try to make it to some beach, somewhere.  My kids love the beach as much as I do and we can stay there all day long collecting shells, flying kites and looking for marine life.  But except for an occasional wade out into the water just to cool off, I like the ocean from the vantage point of the sand. I’m afraid of the ocean and of course there’s a story behind my fear.   There’s always a story.

Back when I worked at Club Med, one of the perks was being able to experience all of the Club activities along with the guests.  I took tennis lessons, went horse-back riding and played pool games.  One day I decided that I wanted to learn how to wind-surf.  The wind-surf instructor wasn’t busy that day, so he gave me a beginning lesson on the sand and in the shallow water.   When he thought that I had the hang of it, he urged me to go into the water even further, but still close to the shore.

Now would be a good time to mention that I didn’t know how to swim.   No problem, the instructor said, don’t go out too far and since he wasn’t busy, he’ll keep an eye on me.    I’m pretty fearless and it didn’t look too dangerous at all.    Besides, I had noticed that although beginner wind-surfers fall quite a bit, they fall very slowly and are able to hold on the sail while in the water.  I would be fine.

And I was fine for awhile.  While I did fall a lot, since I was so small, when I did get back on the board and lift the sail even slightly the wind took me pretty far.  This went of for awhile: falling, getting back on the board, lifting the sail, surfing for a short while and falling again.  Finally tired, the next time I fell I just sat on my board.  And looked up to see that I was far away from the wind-surf instructor (who was now busy with guests and forgot all about me) and far away from the shore.  I wasn’t even on Club Med’s property anymore.  I looked at the water and it was a very deep blue AND I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT.  Sharks!–That’s all I could think about.  I didn’t actually see them, but I knew they were there.   I tucked my feet up under me and made sure no part of my body was in the water.

Well, now I was in a real dilemma.  I couldn’t wind-surf back to shore because I couldn’t control the sail very well and the odds were that I would take myself further out to sea.   I couldn’t swim to shore because I didn’t know how to swim.  I couldn’t yell for help from the Club Med personnel because they were too far away to hear me.  So, I just sat on my board for what seemed like forever, but was really probably 15 minutes.

In the distance I saw a small figure on the beach waving at me and yelling something in Spanish; it was a local Mexican gentleman walking on the public beach.   I didn’t know who he was or what he was saying, but I just yelled back “Help Me!”   Much to my surprise, he jumped in the water fully clothed, swam out to me and pushed me on the board all the way back to shore.  He didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak Spanish but I was so grateful and he knew it.  After making sure that I was okay, he went on his way and I dragged the wind-surf board across the sand all the way back down to the Club Med beach.

I was 18 years old when that happened and it while it turned out okay, it was a stupid thing to go into the ocean without a life jacket on, not knowing how to swim.  I didn’t like that I had a fear of deep water (even in a pool) because I don’t like being afraid of anything.  After the birth of my first child, I knew that I had to learn how to swim, if just to be a good role model.

I stepped outside my comfort zone when: #11  I learned to swim as an adult and I’m very proud of myself.

Yes, I took swimming lessons as a child at the YMCA like everyone else and I was doing just fine until they made up jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool before I was ready to.   There was no compassion from my instructors and it was pretty cut and dry, either jump or leave the class.  I left the class and never went back.   For the rest of my childhood I “got by” at the pool by swimming under water and mostly staying in the shallow end, but I had few incidents of almost-drowning.   One time I was at the local public pool and I wanted to jump off the diving board like all the other kids.   So I did.  But when I hit the water, I didn’t know how to come back up and swim to the edge, so I started fighting the water and going back under.  The lifeguards didn’t even see me, but luckily a teenaged girl did and helped me to the side.  That brush with nearly drowning only worsened my fear of deep water.

So when I finally decided to learn how to swim, I first had to get over my fear of deep water.  My friend had a pool in her backyard and let me use it to hire a private instructor for a few lessons.  When I felt comfortable enough, I continued lessons at my local YMCA.  Before long I could tread water in the deep end and swim the length of the pool.  I was so determined to learn and not be afraid that I was the star pupil of the class.  I kept my progress report as a reminder of how far I had come.

I do like knowing that I have a good chance of saving my life if the situation should ever arise, but I’m not sure if I will ever be comfortable swimming in the ocean; the thought of all the ocean creatures beneath me kind of unnerves me.  The ocean absolutely fascinates me, but I like learning about it from visiting the aquarium or watching Imax films at the museum. However, I do try to push myself every now and then, just to keep my fear under control, and ultimately, conquer it.   This past summer I went jet-skiing in the ocean and boogie-boarding as well.   And someday soon I plan to take surfing lessons.  I gotta get ready for my future life as a beach-bum.

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

*Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering the prompt: 4.) 30 things you vow to do this summer.

1. Take my daughter to a Braves game.  She’s been asking since the season began.
2. Teach my son how to drive.
3. Update my will (see #2).
4. Teach my daughter how to ride a bike.  What’s with my kids?  They have no interest.  I’ll have to bribe her.
5. Start hooping again.   As in hula-hooping, not basketball.
6. Do yoga a few times a week.
7. Learn Janet Jackson’s “Pleasure Principle” dance with my daughter.  Just cause.
8. Go to Blogher.  It’s my first time…should be interesting.
9. Read to my daughter everyday.
10. Re-read some of my favorite books like Their Eyes Were Watching God.
11. Teach my son how to pump gas.  Not that he’s ever driving my car….
12. Teach my son how to iron.
13. Think of new flavors for the ice cream I make weekly with my kids.
14. Make popsicles like King of Pops.
15. Try some of John Kessler’s frozen yogurt recipes.
16. See the new bears at Zoo Atlanta.
17. Start a new business venture.  Don’t ask me how with 2 kids at home all summer.
18. Read a chunk of The Bible.
19. Make a dent in the 8 year back-log of scrapbooking I need to do.
20. Take more training classes with Chili Dawg.
21. Continue to blog at least twice a week.
22. Make buttermilk pie.
23. See The B 52s in concert.  I’m trying to figure out how to get my locs into a bee-hive.
24. Go to Jamaica for a friend’s wedding.  I’m not wild about Jamaica, but I want to support the friend and take a trip alone with my husband.
25. Catch up on movies I’ve missed seeing in the theater.
26. Play board games with my kids in the evenings.  The classics: Yatzee, Life, Clue.
27. Take Chili Dawg to the dog park to play.
28. Experience the new Canopy Walk at Atlanta Botanical Gardens.
29. Nap.
30. HAVE FUN!

*Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering the prompt:  2.) “I need all the help I can get and if repeating something healthy and inspiring to myself several times a day helps, then I’m going to do it!” -What affirmation makes you feel better?

I’m a pretty positive person, but sometimes life stomps on my heart and zaps my spirit.  I’ve been through my share (and then some) of drama and trauma that still messes with me.  To bolster myself in those situations, I turn to prayer and these inspirational quotes as affirmations:

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? -Bible verse, Psalm 27:1.  No need to be a punk; my Father has my back.

“It is not enough for you to do your very best. You must do what is required of the situation.” -Cathy Hughes.  Man up, accept no excuses and do what needs to be done.

“If you are going through Hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill.  Keep on trucking, baby.

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta be willing to put up with the rain.” -Dolly Parton.  Life sometimes suck; deal with it.

“Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.” –Marianne Williamson.  Forget the haters and naysayers; I am fabulous.  I believe it and I will live it.

*Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering the prompt: 4.) Can you almost stop time with your words? Write about the fastest ride you ever had, but describe only a few seconds of it…as though it was happening to slow motion.

I love roller coasters.  Disney World is more my speed these days than Six Flags, but still I love a good thrill.  Space Mountain and Expedition to Everest (my favorite ride at Disney World) are very fast.  Tower of Terror, not a roller coaster but nevertheless a thrilling ride, is probably the fastest and the most what-in-the-world-was-I-thinking ride.  But my time-stopping slow mo fast ride happened on Disney’s  Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster. Actually it’s what happened before I got on the ride that made time stand still.

As I have said before, I am not afraid of too many things (except sharks) but lately I have become extremely claustrophobic.  This is a new, surprising development for me because I am generally a calm person; I’m pretty unflappable.   I have explored the pyschological reasons for my anxiety, but I won’t bore you with the underlining issues.   I have noticed that I get particularly anxious when all three of my triggers are in play at the same time: heat, small spaces, and crowds.   I can handle each one individually, but when they are all together in a no-exit environment, I can go from zero (calm) to sixty (get me out of here!) very quickly.

Disney World is the perfect storm for a claustrophobic panic attack.  During peak visiting times, like our last Disney trip, the ride operator crowds the lines, which are often inside narrow hallways without any ventilation, and the lines move slowly.  I have no problem with small, crowded, hot spaces as long as I move through quickly–it’s staying in those spaces that freaks me out.   I was anxious about the line for Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster because it is one of the most popular rides at Disney World and I knew the line would be crowded and slow moving.  However, I do not like the descepancy between my roller coaster-loving self and my claustrophobic self, so I decided to take the risk.   I wouldn’t have even considered riding if we didn’t have the special media Fast Passs that allowed us to start in the shorter line.  As my husband and I joined the line inside a dark building, these are my thoughts:

This is the Fast Pass line?  It’s long.

My heart is pounding so fast, this can’t be good.

Why do they keep these buildings so dark?  Why is the ceiling so low?

There are so many people in here.

Is there a way out?  Where is the nearest exit?

Take off my coat.  Good.  Okay, at least I’m not hot.

I refused to packed in like a sardine and they can’t make me.

My husband looks concerned and asks me if I’m okay.

I tell him to stop talking to me; I need to concentrate.

I think if I keep a wide path around me and not let myself get crowed, I can handle it.

Two people-length.  Don’t let anyone get closer than two people away.

Focus.  Focus on the flower on that girl’s sweatshirt.  Like in birthing class.

We are going around a bend.  Uh-oh, I know how these lines twist and turn.

I can’t take it anymore.  It’s the fear of the unknown, so I ask a lady next to me who has obviously ridden before: What comes next?  Is it much further?  Does it get more narrow and darker?  She assures me that we are almost there.

We enter a room.  Thankfully they don’t pack too many people in the room, but it is dark and I can’t see the exits.  There is no way out and I start to panic.  My heart is pounding so hard.

I fully expect to faint right now.  Not that I ever have, so I don’t know what that means.  Still.

I can barely breath.  This can’t be good for my oxygen level.

What will happen if I faint?  Will anyone notice?

James is watching me.  That’s good.  He’ll notice if I hit the floor.

Take deep breaths.  In and out.  In and out.  Deep and slow.  I can do this.

Count to ten.  Haven’t I read that somewhere?  Count to ten slowly.

It seems to be working.  I haven’t fainted yet.

I really need to learn how to meditate.

Oh, it’s Aerosmith talking on the screen.  Pay attention.

If I wasn’t so freaked out, I would think this is cool.

This video is way too long.  Finish already!

Oh, the doors are opening.  Freedom!

No wait.  We are in some sort of cage.

A cage!  Are they kidding me?

Where is James?  Doesn’t he know I’m hanging by a thread?

At least there are no closed doors.  Just keep the people away; don’t let them crowd me.

Finally I’m out the cage!  I’m free!

And just like that my anxiety subsides and completely disappears.  The room is big, I’m in cool air and the people are more dispersed.  The line is moving fast and it’s almost my turn to ride.  I switch from anxious to excited and hop in the car with a big smile on my face.  I love roller coasters!  This is why I fought my claustrophobic demons and I’m glad that I did.  The roller coaster takes off like a shot and I am flying through complete darkness with Aerosmith music blasting in my ears.

WOO-HOO!