Earlier this month, my family and I went to Miami for a college visit.  Unfortunately for us, it was Spring Break for many schools and we had a difficult time finding a hotel room.  In desperation we used Priceline’s Price Negotiator for the first time.  Our bid was excepted and we got a great deal on a swanky hotel right on South Beach.  We were thrilled….or was this deal too good to be true?

Problem #1:  There was only one bed in the room.  No fault of the hotel; we didn’t read Priceline’s small print that only guarantee’s a room to accommodate 2 people.  There were 4 of us, so this was a problem.  Luckily the hotel was helpful and we were able to upgrade (for a fee of course) to a room with 2 beds for 2 of the 3 nights we stayed there.  On the third night, my son slept on the floor.

Problem #2:  The bathroom.

This is the bathroom.  With the door closed.  See the toilet?  That was our view from any angle in the room.  The bathroom had a transparent door!   I guess this is supposed to be sexy?  It is not.  Maybe the designer had some kind of sexual/bathroom fetish?  There is no way to explain this design.  I do not want to see anyone use the toilet, not even my husband.

The situation called for some creative Ma-Gyvering by me: I took a walking umbrella and hooked it on the door handle and laid it across the door.  Then I hung a towel over the umbrella.  This maneuver could only be fashioned once inside the bathroom and took quite a bit of skill.  So much so, that it wasn’t worth it if we were just using the toilet for peeing.  In that case, the person in need yelled, “I’m peeing!” and everyone else in the room turned away.  Then they yelled, “I’m done!” when they were finished.  This lasted for 2 days and nights.   Thankfully we didn’t spend too much time in the hotel room!

Problem #3: We moved to the room with one bed for the third night.  As we entered the new room, we were happy to see that while the bathroom still had a transparent door, the bathroom was around the corner from the beds.  We could now use the bathroom without someone staring right at us.   Unfortunately the bathroom door was left open and I ran *smack!*  right into the invisible door.  I almost passed out from the pain as a very large goose egg immediately appeared on my forehead.  I still have it.

Wait…are you laughing at me or with me?

I’m linking up with Mama Kat, you should too.

© 2012, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Like everyone else in the world, I thought she was a phenomenal singer, but more than anything I remember her as the skinny-legged, pretty black girl on the cover of Seventeen.   As a skinny black girl too, I didn’t see myself often represented on the cover of teen fashion magazines.  She was an inspiration.  Only much later did I connect the dots between the girl-model and the powerful voice.

I’m linking up with Mama Kat by answering the prompt: Share a Whitney Houston song that meant something to you.

© 2012, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

The Isley Brothers’s song “Footsteps In The Dark”  scared the Hell out of me as a child.   I love the song now–and Ice Cube’s sample of it in “Today Was A Good Day”–but when I was little the haunting melody and the words “dark” and “footsteps” sent chills up my spine.

When I was little, I used to visit my aunt.  She had  a teenage son and my other cousin used to hang around the house as well.   The boys had turned the family room into their music listening room–complete with big speakers, a black light and a big red furry lounge chair.  I would lounge on the chair while my cousins listened to The Isley Brothers.  They didn’t know I was scared or they would have run me out the room.  I wanted to hang out with the big kids, so I pretended to be cool, but as I lay on that big furry chair in a dark wood-paneled room,  I was silently freaking out.   Theirs was an old house with long corridors, dark corners and creaky old house sounds.  After listening to The Isley Brothers I would lie awake at night, sure that monster footsteps in the dark were coming to get me.

Of course now I can appreciate this song, but just listen to it from the ears of a little girl; SCARY!

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

People hide the items you need most.   Where’s the coffee? No, not that decaffeinated imposter; the real coffee. No wonder everyone in this house is still asleep at 6:30 a.m. Fine, I will just go out and buy coffee at the corner store. Oh wait, there’s no store at the corner—that’s a pond.

It’s 6:30 a.m. and all I want to do at this point is run home.

I will be repeating the same interior monologue at midnight, only this time it will be about gin cocktails. I mean, what kind of people don’t keep their limes in plain sight?

People in other houses eat things that are not, in fact, edible.   I think the idea is that when you’re having guests, the experience must involve “special food,” and “special food” nine times out of 10 is completely horrifying. Seriously, if octopus really tasted that good, wouldn’t there be Octo Shacks dotting America?

Of course, I also despise people who make a big to-do about their precious little eating habits. So I say nothing. Instead, now and then, I bring little treats with me that I like and, naturally, intend to share. Occasionally this goes over well. “How thoughtful!” the host exclaims. More often, though, she shoots me an icy stare: Oh, my cooking isn’t good enough for you?

I agree with Judith; I like my stuff and where I put it.  It makes perfectly good sense to me.  Your stuff and it’s placement does not.  Lest you think I am only quirky one in my family (that is usually the case, but not this time) my husband has a rule: he doesn’t drink milk in anyone else’s kitchen.  He says that other people’s milk taste funny.    Sounds about right to me, although I’m sure this makes us terrible houseguests.  Refusing to drink your milk even though you say “it’s perfectly good milk” would likely offend you.

And that is why we stay in hotels.

It is also why we still have friends.

What about you; are you a good houseguest?  

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Answer: I don’t.  I was going to ask YOU that question because I can use some hep.  When the kids aren’t in school, I’m pretty much a one-woman show around here, juggling.  But not balancing.  Balls are being dropped all the time.

So what I want to know is: when do you find time to do what you do?  Write/work on your business?   Clean?  Cook?  Plan vacations?  Attend to the nagging household tasks like fixing the jiggly door handle or figuring out where to put the new coffee-maker that your mother insisted on giving you, but you really don’t have the space for?  When do you call the doctor/dentist/plumber for an appointment or carve out 20 minutes to be on hold with the health insurance provider?   Do you exercise?  Do you have a hobby?  Do you volunteer at your church/school/community center?  Do you spend time with friends and extended family?   Do you pray/mediate?  Are you playing with/reading to your kids?

How do you balance it all?  How do you manage?  Share your secrets with me please.  I won’t tell anyone, I promise.

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

© 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

As in fried.

To a crisp.

Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop has a perfect prompt for me this week: 1.) Why are you burned out?

Dare I say it here on my blog?  In written form for everyone to read?  Just after I was honored at Digitini?

I am burned out on blogging.

I have not posted anything in 17 days.  I think that is longest that I have ever gone without blogging.  This is the thing: I don’t half-ass do anything.  I do it well or don’t do it at all.  So blogging for me is not a quick, one-off thing.  I don’t bang out a blog post in an hour and then go about the rest of my day.  I usually have photos to accompany my blog posts which requires taking the photo, uploading it to iPhoto, editing and water-marking in Photoshop Elements.   Then I research my facts, link websites and proof-read.  And proof-read again for grammar, spelling and content.  I may still have mistakes, but I really try to have my blog posts make sense and be enjoyable to read.

And of course I want to post content that you find interesting and entertaining.

Are you interested and entertained?

Most of the time?

Some of the time?

I hope so.   That’s what I strive for anyway.

I must say that I put pressure on myself to blog about something, not just my everyday life.  But sometimes I got nothing.  Or I don’t feel like writing about it.  Yeah, that’s it.  I do have restaurant reviews or vacation details or shopping tips–all kinds of content;  I keep a Word document filled with things to blog about.  For real I could blog everyday from that list for 3 months straight.

But sometimes I don’t want to.  Sometimes I just want to write about my life and share things.  Writing almost every post like it’s a magazine article is exhausting and a sure way to eventually burn out.

And that’s where I am.

Burnt.

I read my friend Darcie’s blog post at Such The Spot the other day and I could relate to her so much; she has been struggling with blogging as well.  And just this morning I read a post on Blogher.com about bloggers who stop blogging.

I don’t want to stop blogging.

But something has got to change.

So, let me ask you: would you still be interested and entertained if I post about my life–just the everyday stuff–in addition to fashion/travel/foodie/deep stuff, etc?

Would you still read?

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

When I hired a designer to create my blog, I knew that I wanted a cartoon version of myself.  I love cartoons and well, I’m zany and quirky like that.  Together the designer and I had a quite a time creating this Funkidivagirl, because well, I’m zany and quirky like that.   A perfectionist.  Or a pain in the butt…however you want to say it.  Thankfully the designer was patient as I sent her email after email.

“She needs locs for hair, not straight hair.”

“She needs more hair.”

“Even more hair; I have A LOT of hair.”

“Can she wear a peace sign necklace?  That’s sort of my thing.”

“Ooh, add a bracelet too.”

“Can you change her shirt to pink?  That’s my color, pink.”

Funkidivagirl = Me

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Okay, ya’ll know that peace signs are my thing, so you might think that I fabricated this photo, but I didn’t! Girly and I took Chili Dawg on a walk and brought along a camera to capture the essence of our neighborhood.  This is it:

In case you didn’t get it the first time:

And you thought Georgia was only full of good ‘ole boys and pick-up trucks.

Visit Mama Kat’s Losin It to write a prompt of your own.

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Apparently the dye from the neighboring brown suede boots transferred onto these boots.  I have googled.  I have taken them to a cobbler.  Sadly there doesn’t seem to be a remedy for removing stains from patent leather.

I first wrote about my unique connection to these boots April 2009:

*************************

These Boots Were Made For Walking And Dancing And Looking Fly

Now that spring is here, I am packing away my favorite boots for the season.  Why are they my favorite?  I’m glad you asked….

When I was in kindergarten, there were two groups of kids: the morning class and the afternoon class. I was in the morning class. Both classes had the same teacher, we both said the pledge of allegiance every day and learned our ABC’s. But for me the afternoon class held a certain cache because of a little girl in that class who wore white patent leather go-go-like boots. I loved those boots and wanted them for my own! But that was not how my mother dressed me; I wore beautiful dresses, matching bows in my hair, tights and patent leather shoes. By the time I grew old enough to dress myself those boots were no longer in style and it remained a hidden (but not forgotten) desire.

Shopping in Nordstrom with some friends last fall I saw these boots on display and I swear it was like the light from heaven shining down illuminating them just for me. Like two long-lost lovers in a Lifetime movie, my friends, other shoppers and salespeople all faded away; all I could see were those boots.

Yes, I bought the boots; I wear them all the time.  And I look good!

*****************************

Well, I used to look good.  Curses!  What shoes will I wear now to my fantasy B-52s concert?  The one where the band sees me as a kindred spirit (because of the boots, naturally) and invite me on stage to sing Love Shack with them.

I am so distraught; I fear that I may never be able to wear my boots again.  Or rock with The B-52s.

Please help! Do you know of some magical solution to rid my boots of these seemingly permanent stains?

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

*Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering the prompt:  1.) Create your own comic strip.

THE MANY FACES OF SHARKBOY!

Why?  No reason.  No reason at all.

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

I saw this book on the table tonight and thought, “huh; how about that?”

I’m hoping that the classroom discussion spills over into our dinnertime table talk.  Especially since my son’s hair resembles the cover of the book in dreadlocks and it’s certain that 99.9% of the class does not.

If they had classes like this when I was in high school, I might have paid attention.

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

So, practicing Green habits is a daily occurrence at the school, not just something that they do on Earth Day.   But once a year they ask the parents and students to do something that they might not normally do: walk, carpool or ride bikes to school.   There are meet-up points near and far for walkers and bike riders to travel to school together, so it’s fun.   We don’t normally walk to school; it’s a 6 minute drive, but a 40 minute walk.   The walk is not so long, but it would require getting up early (!) and moving quickly in the morning and we don’t do that very well.  But today we got up at 6:30 and met the science teacher at the corner at 7:15 to walk as a group.   It was chilly outside, but fun walking and talking together.

We were able to do it because we didn’t eat breakfast before leaving home.  We knew that this would be waiting for us:

HAPPY EARTH DAY!

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Monday – Thursday Fork & Screen AMC has $6 movies.  If you have never been to this theater in Atlanta, you must try it.  Or I’m sure that there are similar theaters where you live as well.  The seats are very comfortable, the theater is small and best of all, you can eat a meal while you watch the movie.  I had a very good chicken quesadilla, but passed on the alcoholic drink.  I was surprised to see that there were at least 14 other people in the movie with me (and they were drinking too).  Who goes to the movies on a Tuesday at noon and orders a Cosmopolitan?  Apparently many people.

I saw Death At A Funeral.

I was excited to see this movie because of the cast: Loretta Devine, Chris Rock, and Danny Glover among other talented and funny actors.  I purposely did not watch any trailers or interviews on morning talk shows because I didn’t want to be tainted.   I wish now that I had known what I was getting into because I wouldn’t have gone to see the movie.   I did not know that it was a remake of the 2007 British movie of the same time.   I saw that movie and liked it.   But I did not need to see THE EXACT SAME MOVIE three years later.

The new Death At A Funeral is EXACTLY the same as the original.  EXACTLY.  Except for the African American cast and references to American culture.  And they changed the funeral food to potato salad and macaroni and cheese.  Other than that, EXACTLY the same.  One of the actors, Peter Dinklage, even has the same role in both movies.

I suppose if you hadn’t seen the original movie a mere three years prior than you might think that this movie was hilarious.  Except for Chris Rock; he was wooden and emotionless.  I know that he was playing the straight man, but dude, did you have Botox before the shoot?  Can you move your face to express some emotion?    Martin Lawrence was Martin Lawrence–not that funny, but not horrible, just played; I’ve seen him act like that so many times.  Luke Wilson’s character was totally off and if I hadn’t seen the original movie then I would have been confused to why he was even there.  James Marsden played the part of the drugged boyfriend perfectly; I enjoyed him.  And while I am not a big fan of Tracy Morgan, surprisingly he was my favorite in this movie.  He was funny, spot on and didn’t overact.   The scene in the bathroom–which almost made me throw up, even though I knew what was coming–was the funniest scene in the movie.  I really can’t tell y0u much more than that without spoiling the movie.  The hilarity of the movie is in the surprises and exposure of family secrets.

If you haven’t seen the original movie, then perhaps you will like Death At A Funeral.  It’s a family comedy (meaning, that it’s about a family–not that you can take your family to see it because the language is about as bad as it can get) and mostly funny.  Also, some people, like my husband, don’t “get” british humor and would better appreciate the American version.

But, if you have seen the original movie and liked it, then don’t bother seeing this one.  It is almost EXACTLY the same script.  And really, who needs to see that bathroom scene again?

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

*Today I am participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop by answering and combining two prompts:  2.) Create and share a Whrrl story  and 3.) Write a Haiku that describes what you love about an ordinary day.

A PANINI HAIKU

Noon.  My stomach growls.

Piping hot panini press,

make me a sandwich.

My daughter got into the spirit of making a Haiku as well:

Lillies bloom in spring

Snow falls in winter brr brr

I bloom in summer.

Making a Haiku is strangely satisfying.  Try it!

© 2010 – 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Two great links on how to help:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/01/13/haiti.earthquake.how.to.help/?hpt=Sbin

http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/13/haiti-disaster-relief-how-to-contri bute/

In addition:

• Action Against Hunger – International agency has hundreds of staffers in Haiti. Already working to distribute food and safe drinking water, build latrines and provide hygiene kits. Click or call (877) 777-1420.

• American Red Cross – Has already pledged $1 million toward relief effort. Donors can send a $10 donation by texting “Haiti” to 90999.

• American Jewish World Service – Has launched a relief fund to support a networ k of charities. Log on to donate as little as $36. Click or call (212) 792-2900.

• AmeriCares – Has pledged $5 million worth of aid to Haiti, and is working with partners on the island to deliver food and medical supplies. Click or call  (800) 486-4357.

• Beyond Borders – Has established an Earthquake Emergency Response Fund to take donations earmarked for the most urgent needs, including food and medicine. Click or call (866) 424-8403

• CARE – Has deployed emergency teams to Po rt-au-Prince and will soon start distributing high protein biscuits from its warehouses in Haiti. Click or call (800) 521-2273

• Catholic Relief Services – Has committed $5 million of its funds for emergency supplies. Already has food and relief supplies on the island, and is distributing plastic sheeting, mosquito netting, and water purification tablets. Click or call (800) 736-3467

• Childcare Worldwide – Has staff in place to distribute food, clothing, blankets and medical supplies. Click or call (800) 553-2328.

• Direct Relief International – Has shipped two containers of medical supplies and plans a $2 million aid package. Plans to airlift via FedEx this week. Click or call (805) 964-4767.

• Doctors Without Borders – Has already treated more than 1,000 victims in four tent facilities. Is working to treat severely injured people in need of surgery. Click or call (888) 392-0392.

• Feed My Starving Children – Plans to distribute high-protein meal packs to children and adults. Click or call (763) 504-2919.

• Habitat for Humanity – Working to provide temporary shelter for poor families affected by quake. Click or call (800) 422-4828.

• Haitian Health Foundation – Anticipating total depletion of their resources and taking donations and money and hoping to address anticipated flood of refugees leaving Port-au-Prince. Click or call (860) 886-4357.

• Hope for Haiti – Stands ready to send doctors, nurses, medical supplies and equipment. Click or call (239) 434-7183.

• International Medical Corps – Has representatives at Port-au-Prince’s main hospital, providing medical care. Click or call (800) 481-4462.

• Medical Teams International – Initial response includes sending a six-person team with enough medicine and orthopedic supplies to help 12,000 people for a week. Click or call (800) 959-4325.

• Operation USA – L.A.-based organization sending medical supplies and appealing for pledges and corporate donations of health care supplies, water purification tablets and food supplements. Click or call (800) 678-7255.

• < p style=”margin-bottom: 4px”> Oxfam – Has 200 staff members in Haiti, including a 15-member emergency response team. Click or call (800)776-9326.

• UNICEF – Venerable agency focuses on the youngest victims, pledging that every dollar will go to aid. Click or call (800) 367-5437.

• World Concern – Soliciting cash as it helps in the rescue effort and provides drinking water, food and blankets. Click or call (800)755-5022.

• Yele Haiti – Wyclef Jean’s grassroots org.  Text Yele to 501 501 to donate $5 via your cell phone.

You can also find more ways to help through the Center for International Disaster Information, or through USAID’s interactive website, which has a list of NGOs and instructions on how to help.

The U.S. State Department Operations Center said Americans seeking information about family members in Haiti should call 1-888-407-4 747. Due to heavy volume, some callers may receive a recording.

© 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

For those of you who decorate gingerbread houses each year, you understand. And for those of you who go all Martha Stewart-like and bake your own house pieces and make your own icing and then expertly put the whole thing together….I bow down; I’m not worthy. For the rest of us, the fun is in the decorating…the frustration is in “gluing” the house pieces together with icing, without it falling down or the roof sliding off. And then waiting for it to dry while your previously eager kid has now moved on to another project. About 3 years ago I discovered the beauty of using a fully assembled house, but unfortunately couldn’t find one again until now. So, even though I loathe this whole Merry Halloween sham, I just had to buy the gingerbread house. I suggest that you do the same.

© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

Plinky.com: how do you think of these questions? And how did you know that I dream of being on Sesame Street?

If I ever moved to Sesame Street, Grover would make a great roommate. I think Grover and I would get along great because he’s wacky and fun-loving, but also very sweet. Just like me, he’s a dreamer. Together we could dream up all kinds of crazy schemes and business ideas and have a blast doing it.

Super Grover and Funkidivagirl…saving the world from mediocrity!

© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.