This actually happened almost a year ago, but it still cracks me up whenever I think about it.

We were at the W Hotel in Buckhead having a fancy dinner with our kids to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.  In the course of normal dinner conversation my husband picked up his wine glass, smelled it, and decided that it smelled too dusty for him and asked for another glass.   Now, I had been married to this man for 15 years at that point and had never seen him smell a glass before, but apparently he says that he does it all the time because dusty glasses are a pet peeve of his.  I started making fun of him because I really think my husband is going to be a crazy old man; I mean some of his current behaviors point in that direction.  I had the kids cracking up by painting a verbal picture of their dad sitting in a corner rocking chair smelling glasses, rocking madly and mumbling to himself.

My husband was not amused and just said, “Yo momma.”

Actually he frequently using this comeback to me when he can’t think of anything else to say and even says it to my son.  My son responds with, “You know, you’re talking about your wife and she’s standing right there.”

Well, that night I had a comeback of my own.   Out of the depths of my memory bank I pulled out a little ditty that I hadn’t said since I was about 9 years old living on the South Side of Chicago and recited it to my husband with requisite finger wagging and facial attitude.

Yo Momma,

Yo Daddy,

Yo greasy Granny,

Got a hole in her panties,

Got a big behind like Frankenstein,

Going beep-beep-beep down Sesame Street!

And then I started laughing uncontrollably.

My kids stared at me in shock and my husband tried to quiet me down, concerned about the other diners, but it took a long time for me to settle back into a Buckhead-like decorum.   It was fun to throw my playground swagger around….I still got it!

I heard this song the other day and it brought back memories.  I honestly don’t remember any other songs by Mass Production, but “Firecracker” was the jam!   I still know all the words, as I am gifted like that, but this particular song is burned in my memory for a reason.

I was in 7th grade when I decided to try out for the pom-pom squad; this was a big deal because most of the girls on the squad were 8th graders.  Pom-pom and cheerleading wasn’t really even my thing, but you know, this was 7th grade and I wanted to be a part of something and be popular in Jr. High.   Fortunately, I had 8th grade neighborhood friends who let me be a part of their try-out team.  They were a cool bunch, hip on all the latest music and dance moves; they chose “Firecracker” as our performance song.   For weeks we rehearsed our routine after school until it was flawless.  Finally the day came for try-outs….and I woke up terribly sick.  Not a fake I-don’t-want-to-go-to-school Ferris Buller kind of sick, but an Oh-God-no-this-can’t-be-happening-to-me kind of sick.  I had to stay home from school and missed the pom-pom try-outs.  But do you want to know what made it really bad?  The “ain’t that a blip” about the whole thing?  EVERYONE ON MY TEAM WHO TRIED OUT MADE THE POM-POM SQUAD.

And that’s why I will never forget “Firecracker.”  But despite my tragic adolescence recollection, it’s still a jam.  Take a listen ♬:

During our vacation to Disney World, I was so stoked to see Monchhichis in our favorite Epcot Japanese store!  Both my husband and I started singing the commercial:

 

 

My daughter instantly fell in love and had to have one.  Lucky for her that Daddy is indulgent because I wouldn’t have paid $26 for a Monchhichi myself.   When did nostalgia cost so much?  

It is really cute though.

 

My daughter learned how to jump rope this summer and she brought back so many memories of my childhood.   All I needed was my Keds, a jump rope and my girls and I was good to go.  Like my daughter now, I jumped rope during recess at school–that is, when I wasn’t knocking out kids at 4 Square.

Here she is learning how to jump rope.  At first she didn’t quite have it, but she was a quick study and had it down in no time.

 

I had completely forgotten that song that she is singing!  That made me think of the songs that I used to sing while jumping rope.  During my jump-roping years I lived in Chicago and the South suburbs of Chicago, but I also spent summers with my grandparents in Alabama; jumping rope in both places, I realized that jump rope rhymes are regional.   Some of the songs were the same, with minor changes and some of them were completely different.  These are the songs that I remember, although I’m not quite sure where I learned them. 

 

Mable Mable

Mable Mable set the table

Just as fast as you are able

And don’t forget the

Red hot peas!

(On “peas” jump as fast as you can until you miss.)

 

Down in The Valley

Down in the valley where the green grass grows,

There sat Sherrelle as sweet as a rose.

She sang, she sang, she sang so sweet,

Along came James and kissed her on the cheek.

How many kisses did she get?

(Count until the jumper misses.)

 

Stepped in the Water

Stepped in the water, boom ba

The water was cold, boom ba

Chilled my body, boom ba

But not my soul, boom ba

Hopping on 1, boom ba

Hopping on 2, boom ba

(…..etc. Counting until the jumper misses.)

 

Jack Be Nimble

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,

Jack jumped over the freedom stick.

You gotta do those pop-ups 10-1

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

 

Old King Mamba (?)

Old King Mamba, reading the news

Brought himself a new pair of shoes.

And when those shoes begin to wear,

Old King Mamba said “I declare!”

I can do the mumble, mumble, mumble

I can do the splits, splits, splits

I can do the sizzler, sizzler, sizzler

I can do the kicks, kicks, kicks

(The jumper performs the above motions while jumping.)

 

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, touch the ground

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, show your shoe

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, that will do

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, climb the stairs

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, say your prayers

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn out the light

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, say good night!

 

Last Night

Not last night, but the night before

24 robbers at my door.

I jumped up when they got in,

Hit them on the head with a rolling pin.

 

And of course there was Double Dutch jumping in both Chicago and Alabama.  Although guys jumped too, mostly it was girls doing Double Dutch in my day. The way the boys talked trashed on the basketball court?–It was the same way with Double Dutch.  You had to have GAME to jump in some neighborhoods!  My cousins lived on the South Side of Chicago and I wouldn’t even think of trying to do Double Dutch in their neighborhood, as I was admittedly game-less.   I was the person on the side “digging her mashed potatoes” (for those who don’t know, this meant standing on the side, bobbing back and forth, taking forever to jump in).  And I couldn’t turn around or do tricks or anything while jumping;  I was just happy to get in and stay in without messing up! 

Despite my inepdtness at Double Dutch, I love watching people jump.  To me, it is both a sport and an art form. Check out this video from The New York Times shot at the Double Dutch Holiday Classic at The Apollo Theater in Harlem:

 

 

While my daughter now loves to jump rope, I don’t think that she will be jumping Double Dutch anytime soon.  Mommy doesn’t have enough skill to pass it on and she doesn’t go to school, live in or visit neighborhoods where Double Dutch is played regularly.  I was really pleased when The Disney Channel made the movie Jump In, starring Corbin Bleu and Keke Palmer.  If you haven’t seen it,  you and your kids will love it, if just for the final competition scene.

Although we’ve seen it many times on The Disney Channel, I think that I will buy it.  Maybe my daughter and I can watch it together and slow-mo the moves.  She can learn and I can get better.  

 

What are your fondest jump rope memories?  Do you remember any jumping songs?  Are you a Double Dutch legend in your old neighborhood?  Please share!

Everything I ever learned about US history I learned from Schoolhouse Rock. I also learned (and retained) important grammar and multiplication information, but the America Rock segments had the most impact because Schoolhouse Rock took what I found to be a very boring subject and made it something fun.   I looked forward to seeing Schoolhouse Rock on Saturday mornings as much as my favorite cartoons.  I’m Just a Bill and No More Kings are great episodes from the America Rock series that I’m sure everyone remembers, but two other Schoolhouse Rock episodes deserve the spotlight today.  

 

In light of this election and the ensuing discussions about women’s rights, Sufferin’ Til Suffrage is a great history lesson:

 

This election was so historic and important on so many levels; to many people it really proved that the words of the US Constitution are true for all people.  The fact that I can recite every single word of the Preamble of the US Constitution is directly credited to Schoolhouse Rock.  

 

Thanks Schoolhouse Rock for giving me a foundation in US history.  

And thanks America for making me so proud to be an American today.