On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
…….a doll that looks like me. Christmas: a time for showering the little people in our lives with toys and all that their hearts desire. This can give adults with so much joy, but it can also produce gut-wretching angst when you can’t find a doll for your little brown girl that looks like her.
*Most of my posts for this series of The 12 Days of Christmas have been fun and light-hearted, but I have been meaning to talk about this subject for awhile and it is something that many people struggle with this time of the year. Roll with it, think about it and please add your two cents in the comments.
A couple of months ago–well before the holiday season–emails were flying on the Mocha Moms listserv about Addy, an American Girl doll. If you don’t know about American Girl dolls, let me school you as I just entered this world last year when my daughter asked for an American Girl doll for Christmas. American Girl historical dolls are based on historical fictional book characters; each doll comes with a set of books that highlights a particular segment of American history. So I had to check out all the dolls and surprise, surprise there is only one African American historical doll, Addy.
And Addy is a slave.
Of course.
This is what the Mocha Moms were emailing about: why does Addy have to be a slave? Is that the ONLY part of African American history worth telling? Oh, and when they saw Addy’s doll, Ida Bean (although I’m sure she’s historically accurate), Lord, the emails were flying fast and furious.

To be fair, Addy is escaping slavery and her story is a courageous and compelling one; all the American Girl stories show how the characters display bravery and tenacity often in the face of the most trying times in American History. So, they are good books and the principles of the American Girl company are sound. Let me be clear: I like the American Girl company and support their mission and products both philosophical and financially. They also make modern-day “Just Like You” dolls that come in several shades of brown with various hair textures, so the lack of brown dolls in general is not in question; the rift is with the historical dolls.
So again we (“we” being me, my Mocha Moms chapter and I’m certain many African American mothers everywhere) ask: is slavery the only story that we have to tell about the African diaspora in America? It’s not that slavery isn’t a story worth telling, it’s the fact that we are limited to just one story. There is so much more.
What about the Harlem Renaissance? Besides great stories about the art, music and literature of that time period, that doll would have some fly clothes for sure. And what about the ’60s or ’70s? There is a doll now, Julie, who is sort of a hippy girl living in Berkley California; couldn’t they at least make an African American friend for Julie who wears a dashiki? That’s what I’m talking about!
I was not opposed to the Addy doll, but my daughter was not interested in her. So here was the dilemma: do I let her ask Santa for a white doll? Well, that’s always the question for African American parents whether it’s American Girl, Barbie or Disney Princesses dolls; are we going to let our daughters play with dolls that don’t look like them?
Of the people I know, for most the answer is a resounding NO. I too feel that way, but my daughter does have many of the Disney Princesses, who up until Princess Tiana (bless her!), were mostly white (Jasmine is Arabian and Mulan is Asian). I justified buying those dolls because they were “real people.” Her Cheetah Girls dolls are Latina, African American, mixed race and white, so they’re okay. And I think she also has a couple of random white Barbies; I don’t know how they got in there. So, while my daughter doesn’t exclusively own dolls of color, that is my strong preference.
She just got the new So In Style Barbies, which I love and think were long over-due, but whew!–those dolls have been controversial and they just hit the market. The articles in Jezebel.com, Essence.com, and The Wall Street Journal.com show what a hot topic this is for the African American community; liking the Barbies or not is the main thread, but that we care immensely about the images that are reflective of our daughters.
Why? Why do I prefer for my daughter to play with dolls of color? After all, she has a mixed race background so it shouldn’t matter, right? Wrong. No matter what her background, she is a brown girl and everything in the world is telling her that she is marginal. Including the toy industry. It is up to my husband and me to tell her that she is beautiful and worthy; one of the many ways we can do that is by providing her with playthings that reflect her image and consequently boost her self-esteem.
Back to the American Girl doll dilemma last Christmas: what doll did Santa bring? After admittedly a few strong suggestions from me, she asked for and got Josefina, a hispanic doll. A compromise: not African American, but still of color. I could get with that. Both she and I love the Josefina doll; she has a rich culture which makes for good stories and beautiful clothes.

This Christmas she asked for another American Girl doll and again I subtly steered her towards dolls of color, either Kaya, a Native American Indian or Sonali, a modern-day doll who is the friend of a white doll, Chrissa. I’m not sure of Sonali’s heritage, but she’s brown-skinned. I’ll take it.

It is true that the toy industry has come a long way from when I was little when dolls of color were few and came in one very dark shade of brown, but they still have a long way to go. As evidenced by the throngs of African American parents I see in the American Girl Store and the Princess Tiana dolls flying off the shelves, we are responding to the increase in diversity. We have money and will spend it if given the chance. Just give us the chance.
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The 12 Days of Christmas by Funkidivagirl
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me….the words to the song.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Christmas cards.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Chili Dawg.
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..a Christmas vacation.
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..Santa Claus.
© 2009 – 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.
On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
……churros. Usually a treat that you only get at a fair, right? Well, they are surprisingly easy to make at home. A few years ago I discovered this recipe in Martha Stewart Living magazine and made it one Christmas for my family and they loved it. No, churros aren’t a traditional holiday treat, but they are so yummy when paired with hot chocolate and a roaring fire on a cold winter night.
Most of the ingredients you probably have on hand already in your pantry, but you might not have the tools. Be sure to get a pastry bag with a large star tip and a deep-fry thermometer before you begin.
CHURROS
(a recipe by Martha Stewart Living)
Ingredients
Makes 20
- 2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 1 cup milk
- 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1 teaspoon coarse salt
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 3 large eggs, lightly beaten
- 5 to 6 cups vegetable oil, for frying
Directions
- Stir together cinnamon and sugar in a small bowl; set aside. Bring milk, butter, and salt to a boil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add flour, and cook, stirring, until mixture forms a ball and pulls away from sides of pan, about 30 seconds. Remove from heat, and let cool 3 minutes. Add eggs, and stir until batter is smooth. Spoon mixture into a pastry bag fitted with a large open-star tip (such as an Ateco #828).
- Heat 4 to 5 inches oil in a large Dutch oven until it registers 330 degrees on a deep-fry thermometer. Holding pastry bag a few inches above the oil, squeeze out batter, snipping off 4-inch lengths with a knife or kitchen shears. Fry 6 to 8 churros at a time, turning once, until deep golden brown all over, about 5 minutes; transfer to a paper-towel-lined plate to drain.
Photo credit: Martha Stewart Living
Martha, of course, eats her churros with homemade hot chocolate, but I have found that both Ghirardelli Premium Hot Cocoa and Williams-Sonoma Hot Chocolate are delicious and rich. I have the Williams-Sonoma Hot Chocolate Pot and now making hot chocolate is a breeze; you just pour the milk in the pot (no water! sacrilege!), heat it in the microwave, add the chocolate, insert the wand and “froth to perfection” as they say in the directions. Then I top it with marshmallows and whipped cream. A dusting of cinnamon or a cinnamon stick adds a little spice and decorative flair. Enjoy!
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The 12 Days of Christmas by Funkidivagirl
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me….the words to the song.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Christmas cards.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Chili Dawg.
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..a Christmas vacation.
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..Santa Claus.
© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
……pajamas. Several years ago when my son was small we started the tradition of buying new pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve. Really, it was born out of vanity because I wanted everyone to look cute on Christmas morning for photos. Everyone in my family loves this tradition and looks forward to their new pajamas, which we aren’t allowed to wear until Christmas Eve. I think that it would be so cute if we all had matching pajamas from The Company Store, but I just don’t plan far enough in advance. You would think ordering pajamas mid-November would be enough time, but no, they are all sold out by then. And I just can’t get my head around planning for Christmas in early October.
But this year we managed to match gender at least, the boys have the same pajamas as do my daughter and I. The girls were easy; PJ Savage has several styles for big people and little people. We got cupcake flannel pajamas at Nordstrom; bam-boom, in and out, easy peasy. The boys?….not so much. We went to Belk, (which has a great men’s department at Phipps Plaza; I can’t vouch for any other Belk) and there was a sea of pajamas–so many choices that they couldn’t decide. And it didn’t help that there was a flat screen TV showing a football game. It took forever to get out there, but finally they decided on a Ralph Lauren thermal top and cotton pajama bottoms.
We broke tradition this year and put the pajamas on last week to take our Christmas photo, but afterwards they went back in the drawers until Christmas Eve. Usually we put them on late night, after everyone leaves our house, but I think that I will have a pajama party this year and ask everyone coming over to wear pajamas. That sounds like fun!

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The 12 Days of Christmas by Funkidivagirl
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me….the words to the song.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Christmas cards.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Chili Dawg.
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..a Christmas vacation.
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..Santa Claus.
© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.
“Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away.” Happily my taste in Christmas music as evolved. Because on the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
……Christmas music. The other day I got a frantic text from one of friends because she couldn’t find the Christmas cd that I had given her a few years ago. She needed that cd and she needed it NOW. Her kids were asking for it, she was missing it and the whole family needed it to get in the Christmas spirit. The cd that she is referring to is called “Sherrelle’s Christmas Spirit”, a compilation that I made several years ago of my favorite Christmas songs. Lucky for her the songs are now in my iTunes library and I just burned another cd for her. Lucky for you that I am listing them here so that you can have my Christmas spirit also.

Since last Christmas, when I first blogged about this cd, I’ve added two more songs: Last Christmas by George Michael (the song is catchy, just ignore the hideous 80′s fashions in the video) and Baby, It’s Cold Outside by Lou Rawls & Dianne Reeves (this is the best version of the song; trust me).
Pandora–love Pandora!–makes listening to Christmas music all day and night a breeze, but sometimes between Perry Como and the obscure country Christmas songs, I wind up hitting “thumbs down” too much. That’s when I put on my Christmas playlist and BAM!–I’m instantly in the Christmas spirit.
What about you: what’s your favorite Christmas song? What song instantly puts you in a jolly mood?
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The 12 Days of Christmas by Funkidivagirl
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me….the words to the song.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Christmas cards.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Chili Dawg.
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..a Christmas vacation.
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..Santa Claus.
© 2009 – 2011, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.
On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
……a Christmas tree. It seems like it’s not really Christmastime until we have the Christmas tree up and decorated. In the past we have waited until mid-December to get our tree, but found that sometimes the best trees are gone by then, so now if we are in town we try to get it Thanksgiving weekend. Oh, and I refuse to get an artificial tree! Growing up we had both real and artificial trees (I remember a very groovy silver tree when I was very little), but I always liked the real trees better. I even like the ritual of picking out the tree. When we lived in New Jersey we always got our trees from a family-owned operation; they didn’t have the least expensive trees, but they were the best quality and I liked supporting a family business. One year money was tight and we got a tree from one of those grocery store lots where every tree is $25; by the end of December there weren’t any needles left on the tree. We never did that again! Here’s my husband with the tree we bought this year:

As everyone knows who puts up a Christmas tree, each year we forget how much work is involved; somehow we think that we will be able to buy the tree, set it up, string the lights and decorate it all on the same day. Wrong! It is a multi-day process, at least in my house. The first day we got the tree, wrested it into the house and put it in the water stand; that took about 2 hours. I begged and pleaded my husband to put on the lights while I decorated the rest of the house. But first we had to bring up all the decorations from the garage; that took an hour. Luckily I had on my Ma-Gyver hat last year while packing everything away and the boxes were labeled, so I didn’t have to unpack every box to get what I needed. Five years ago we decided to decorate with a new color scheme each year, so I have many boxes of decorations. Packing them according to color was the smartest thing I did. This year our color scheme is aqua blue, silver and white. I had the house decorated a week before the tree:



It took two weekends for us to finish the tree (and by “us” I mean “me”; my husband was working and the kids started playing with a NY Giants football ornament and abandoned the tree decorating), but it was finally done. Here’s the finished tree:

As you can see, the aqua blue, silver and white really doesn’t dominate the tree because in the 16 years that we have been married, we have accumulated many personal ornaments. Every year each family member chooses a personal ornament either based on something that happened to them that year or simply an ornament that they like. And we also try to get an ornament whenever we vacation in a new place; this year we bought an ornament in New Mexico that reminds us of our trip to Jane Fonda’s ranch.

I bought my ornament for this year; I love peace signs and it’s also representative of my blog, a big part of my life in 2009. I already have a disco ball (another favorite and Funkidivagirl.com icon).

But I’m having the toughest time finding ornaments for my family this year! They are requesting a sewing machine (my daughter is learning how to sew), Swiss mountains (my son was in a production of The Sound of Music) and DJ equipment (my husband live-streams/DJs from his computer most Friday nights). Can they be any more difficult? If you have any leads on where I can buy these ornaments, please let me know; I have looked everywhere in real life and online and can’t find anything.
What about you: do you have any traditions around decorating your house for Christmas?
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The 12 Days of Christmas by Funkidivagirl
On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me….the words to the song.
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Christmas cards.
On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me….Chili Dawg.
On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..a Christmas vacation.
On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…..Santa Claus.
© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.
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