I love my iPhone.  I use it to check the weather first thing in the morning and it’s the last thing I turn off at night.   Like millions of others, I can tweet, text and update my status with the best of them.  But I have noticed that all this wonderful technology has caused people to become less courteous in their interactions with each other.  Old social norms like paying attention to someone when they are speaking seem to be no longer be required in our post smart-phone society; the text or email on the Blackberry takes priority over the person sitting in front of us.   It’s enough to make me rant!

If we are sharing a meal together, then I deserve your attention.

During our lunch date I understand that sometimes you may be waiting for an important message or call from someone (because we are expected to be always available), but proper etiquette would suggest informing your companion of your expected interruption and if it does occur, excusing yourself, taking care of the business quickly and apologizing to me, your lunch date.  Once the business is handled, put the phone away.   If you would rather tweet or text or talk to your mother on the phone, then don’t invite me to to lunch.   We can be BFFs on Twitter while multitasking, but personal interaction requires undivided attention.

I can hear your computer keys clicking (or your mouth chewing).

Multitasking…this is such a normal part of lives now that we really don’t know how not to do it.  I multitask like everybody else, but I find that I can’t do it very effectively if a live person is involved and you can’t either.  Don’t kid yourself; I know when you are on the computer while also talking to me on the phone.  Your voice takes on that “uh-huh, right, really?” tone that tells me that you are only half-listening to what I’m saying.  Sometimes I use the computer while talking on the phone too, but I do let my callers know that I am otherwise engaged; I don’t try to pretend that I am giving them my undivided attention when I’m not.  If a friend calls and I am a engaged in light computer research then I will say so (I don’t even answer the phone if I am writing, so there’s no conflict there).  At that point we can have a half-hearted conversation under full-disclosure or decide to talk later.

The same rules apply to eating lunch while on the phone.  If we are close like that then just tell me that you are eating lunch, don’t try to pretend that you aren’t and then talk with a full mouth.   However, I draw the line at peeing while on the phone.  It doesn’t sound like running water, it sounds like pee.  Just don’t do it.  Put me on hold, handle your business and then resume the conversation.

I’m not your chauffeur; talk to me.

When my kids are in the car during our everyday transport, I prefer them to be engaged in conversation with me, listening to music or just staring out the window instead of playing games or sending texts on their phone.    Some of the best conversations happen in the car and that’s not possible if their attention is elsewhere.   I know that the car is a good place for an adult passenger to read their emails, return texts or update their Facebook status (“I’m riding in the car on the way to work”….the whole world is waiting to read that, you can’t let them down), but it’s only okay as long as you tell the driver that you are going to do that for a few minutes and excuse yourself from the expected passenger-seat conversation.  Nobody likes to feel like a chauffeur.

Jesus doesn’t follow you on Twitter.

I see people in church with their Blackberries or iPhones, thumbs flying.  I agree that they could be looking at a Bible app (my husband’s excuse) and reading scripture, but it’s such a temptation to quickly check your email or send a tweet (“I’m really enjoying church; the service is awesome today.”) that it’s just better to be totally engaged in church and leave your phone in your pocket.  They do still make Bibles in book form.

A few weeks ago I was at a school function and the speaker was a little long-winded for most of the people in the audience.  As I looked around the room I saw several heads bowed and iPhone lights glowing in the darkened theater.   That was rude.  If you are bored during a speaking event, the courteous thing to do is stare straight ahead and mentally play “what I would do if I hit the lottery tomorrow.”

If you read Emily Post I’m sure that she would tell you the same thing.

What do you think?  Do you think that technology is causing us to become less courteous?  Does it bother you when people text, email or are otherwise distracted in your presence?

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