Funki and oh-so-helpful organizing & life-hacking tips by yours truly.  Like McGyver, who could dismantle a bomb with a roll of duct tape, a toothpick and a nail file, I am Ma-Gyver, organizer of everything and life-hacker extraordinaire.  From time to time I will be bringing you my tips and tricks for keeping an orderly house and mind. 

Remember the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding?  He thought that Windex was the answer to everything; it was his miracle product.   I am just like him, except I have 4 miracle products:

1.  Goo Gone: This product is perfect for removing any kind of sticky residue and I use it often.  You know the stickers that kids get at the end of a doctor’s visit?  Frequently they end up stuck to undesirable areas in my house.  Goo Gone to the rescue!  You can buy Goo Gone practically anywhere like Target, Bed Bath & Beyond and even the grocery store.

2.  WD-40: It’s actually a joke in my family and they make fun of me because pretty much any kind of squeaky hardware concern and I yell “Get the WD-40!”  They can laugh, but it works!  Squeaky door hinges?  WD-40!  Porch swing not moving so smoothly anymore?  WD-40!  As a preventive measure, I spray it on the screws of my christmas tree stand before I pack it away for the season.  Of course WD-40 can be found in hardware stores, but just about any discount store, like Target has it as well.  

3.  Folex Instant Carpet Spot Remover:  I love this product and (unfortunately) use it at least twice a week, and not on my carpet.  For some insane reason I bought kitchen chairs made from a gold suede-like fabric.   They are very lovely to look at, but not so lovely for 2 messy kids to eat in for every meal.  Yogurt, barbeque sauce, ice cream and salad dressing hit these chairs on a regular basis.  And guess what?  Folex cleans it up every time!  Just a little squirt, a quick rub and that’s it–the spot is gone for good!  You can buy Folex at Home Depot.

4.  Mr. Clean Magic Eraser: I’m not exactly sure what this is made of (and maybe I don’t know want to know), but in the rare times that Goo Gone has failed me, Mr. Clean has done the trick.  It does work just like magic, erasing all traces of a stray pen mark on the wall or some mystery spot on the floor that mopping just can’t seem to get rid of.   And when my daughter, the resident artist, is feeling creative, this happens a lot.  Mr. Clean Magic Eraser can be bought anywhere that cleaning products are sold.

© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

My son is a great kid and I don’t say that just because I gave birth to him.  He’s brilliant, kind and funny.  And he is pretty thrifty, which I can understand when he is using his own money, but he is thrifty with my money as well.   He insists that we buy his jeans from Old Navy and doesn’t really ask for anything outside of a couple of birthday and Christmas presents.  

Sometimes this “thriftiness” is taken a bit too far.  Months ago I noticed that his Converse looked a little worn, but despite my pleas to buy him a new pair, he maintained that his shoes were just fine and no, he doesn’t need a new pair, thank you very much.  I acquiesced and let him wear his shoes without further comment.

That is, until noticed this:

And this:

“Okay Mom,” he said finally, “You can buy me a new pair.”

© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

There’s a note going around on Facebook, “25 Random Facts About Me”, where people tag you to read their 25 random facts and then you are supposed to in turn write 25 facts about yourself.  I liked reading about my friends and definitely found out things that I didn’t know before.  Well, I figured that I needed more room than Facebook allowed, so why not bring it on home where I can get really funki?  Get ready to find out more than you ever wanted to know about Funkidivagirl.

Betcha didn’t know that….

#12  I was Miss Twin Cities.  And then I competed in Miss Teen All American.

Wow, I must really like you people or I have told so many facts/secrets about myself that I don’t have any shame left because hardly anyone knows this fact about me.   My husband is absolutely giddy that I am telling this because it is the one thing that he likes to let “slip out” while I kick him under the table.

I don’t even remember how I got into the pageant in Minnesota, but it was a pleasant experience and I was excited to go to Bal Harbour, Florida to compete in the national competition, Miss Teen All American.   However, once I was there, I immediately knew that I was out of my league; the girls at this pageant were experienced beauty queens and carried themselves much older than their teen-aged years.  Professional make-up, full sequined dresses and elaborate hair styles were the norm.   And the bodies….oh, these girls had body!   My fresh-faced, skinny butt was not going to make the cut and I knew it right away.  Still, my mom and I tried to enjoy the weekend, full of visits to Sea World and other local attractions, and make friends with the other girls and mothers.  The last part was not easy; while I met a few nice girls, many were fake-nice and the moms were even worse, ultra competitive stage-moms who wanted their daughter to win at all costs.  I also saw that not all the girls were treated the same by the pageant staff; clearly some girls were given more attention and staged for more publicity photos than others.  Even before the competition began certain girls were being groomed for the finals.  It was, at the time, more than my naive young self could handle and the pageant ended up being a very negative experience for me.  

Not only did I know upon arriving that I would not win, it also became quite apparent over the course of the weekend who would win.  It was going to be an older contestant because the winner was historically always older (I don’t even know why they let 14 year olds compete because they don’t stand a chance).  And I had a feeling that it was going to be an African American girl (a first) because Vanessa Williams had just become the first African American woman to win the Miss America title.  Well, since there were only 3 of us there, it was simply a short process of elimination.  As I said before, I knew that it wasn’t going to be me.  And of the 2 girls left, the girl from Ohio was the oldest (already out of high school) and the most poised and pageant experienced.  

I called it correctly and the girl from Ohio, Halle Berry, was crowned the winner.  

I was happy for her, happy that they chose an African American girl and mostly happy to go back home. Many years later I met Halle again when our good friend Shemar Moore introduced us (he was dating her at the time) and I asked her if she remembered this pageant.   She remembered, but she was a little fuzzy on the details.  Obviously she went on to become an accomplished, academy award winning actress; maybe this pageant played a small part in her career as an initial jumping-off point.  

Besides Halle, I know many people who find beauty pageants to be a very positive experience for them, but that was not the case for me.   I too can be a little fuzzy on details about past memories, but I remember that whole weekend with crystal clarity because it was so awful.  Live and learn, grow and change, chalk it up to experience.  I never entered a pageant again.

That’s it, the last random fact about me. It was fun posting these random facts about myself; even my son (who has heard most of my stories) didn’t know that I was a Keebler Elf.  I know on Facebook people told 25 facts about themselves, but frankly I think that I have spilled my guts quite enough and I’m going to stop right now before I tell anything incriminating.  

Betcha Didn’t Know: 12 Random Facts About Me

#1  I have a bad temper, I’m pretty fearless and I hate punks.  And that has gotten me into trouble. 

#2  I have toys in my home office.  And they’re all mine.

#3  I have a library call number.

#4  I was a Keebler elf.

#5  I hate sneezes.

#6  I was a small part of the Minneapolis Sound.

#7  My father calls me Sam.

#8  People think that I am Ethiopian.

#9  I was a Club Med G.O.

#10  I love the beach, but I’m afraid of the ocean.  Mostly the sharks in the ocean.

#11  I learned to swim as an adult and I’m very proud of myself.

#12  I was Miss Twin Cities. And then I competed in Miss Teen All American.

© 2009 – 2010, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

There’s a note going around on Facebook, “25 Random Facts About Me”, where people tag you to read their 25 random facts and then you are supposed to in turn write 25 facts about yourself.  I liked reading about my friends and definitely found out things that I didn’t know before.  Well, I figured that I needed more room than Facebook allowed, so why not bring it on home where I can get really funki?  Get ready to find out more than you ever wanted to know about Funkidivagirl.

Betcha didn’t know that….

#10  I love the beach, but I’m afraid of the ocean.  Mostly the sharks in the ocean.

I love, love, LOVE the beach and plan living near the ocean (again) someday.  Looking at the water both soothes my soul and gives me energy at the same time.  At least once a year I try to make it to some beach, somewhere.  My kids love the beach as much as I do and we can stay there all day long collecting shells, flying kites and looking for marine life.  But except for an occasional wade out into the water just to cool off, I like the ocean from the vantage point of the sand. I’m afraid of the ocean and of course there’s a story behind my fear.   There’s always a story.

Back when I worked at Club Med, one of the perks was being able to experience all of the Club activities along with the guests.  I took tennis lessons, went horse-back riding and played pool games.  One day I decided that I wanted to learn how to wind-surf.  The wind-surf instructor wasn’t busy that day, so he gave me a beginning lesson on the sand and in the shallow water.   When he thought that I had the hang of it, he urged me to go into the water even further, but still close to the shore.  

Now would be a good time to mention that I didn’t know how to swim.   No problem, the instructor said, don’t go out too far and since he wasn’t busy, he’ll keep an eye on me.    I’m pretty fearless and it didn’t look too dangerous at all.    Besides, I had noticed that although beginner wind-surfers fall quite a bit, they fall very slowly and are able to hold on the sail while in the water.  I would be fine.

And I was fine for awhile.  While I did fall a lot, since I was so small, when I did get back on the board and lift the sail even slightly the wind took me pretty far.  This went of for awhile: falling, getting back on the board, lifting the sail, surfing for a short while and falling again.  Finally tired, the next time I fell I just sat on my board.  And looked up to see that I was far away from the wind-surf instructor (who was now busy with guests and forgot all about me) and far away from the shore.  I wasn’t even on Club Med’s property anymore.  I looked at the water and it was a very deep blue AND I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT.  Sharks!–That’s all I could think about.  I didn’t actually see them, but I knew they were there.   I tucked my feet up under me and made sure no part of my body was in the water.

Well, now I was in a real dilemma.  I couldn’t wind-surf back to shore because I couldn’t control the sail very well and the odds were that I would take myself further out to sea.   I couldn’t swim to shore because I didn’t know how to swim.  I couldn’t yell for help from the Club Med personnel because they were too far away to hear me.  So, I just sat on my board for what seemed like forever, but was really probably 15 minutes.

In the distance I saw a small figure on the beach waving at me and yelling something in Spanish; it was a local Mexican gentleman walking on the public beach.   I didn’t know who he was or what he was saying, but I just yelled back “Help Me!”   Much to my surprise, he jumped in the water fully clothed, swam out to me and pushed me on the board all the way back to shore.  He didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak Spanish but I was so grateful and he knew it.  After making sure that I was okay, he went on his way and I dragged the wind-surf board across the sand all the way back down to the Club Med beach.

I was 18 years old when that happened and it while it turned out okay, it was a stupid thing to go into the ocean without a life jacket on, not knowing how to swim.  I didn’t like that I had a fear of deep water (even in a pool) because I don’t like being afraid of anything.  After the birth of my first child, I knew that I had to learn how to swim, if just to be a good role model.

#11  I learned to swim as an adult and I’m very proud of myself.

Yes, I took swimming lessons as a child at the YMCA like everyone else and I was doing just fine until they made up jump off the diving board into the deep end of the pool before I was ready to.   There was no compassion from my instructors and it was pretty cut and dry, either jump or leave the class.  I left the class and never went back.   For the rest of my childhood I “got by” at the pool by swimming under water and mostly staying in the shallow end, but I had few incidents of almost-drowning.   One time I was at the local public pool and I wanted to jump off the diving board like all the other kids.   So I did.  But when I hit the water, I didn’t know how to come back up and swim to the edge, so I started fighting the water and going back under.  The lifeguards didn’t even see me, but luckily a teenaged girl did and helped me to the side.  That brush with nearly drowning only worsened my fear of deep water.  

So when I finally decided to learn how to swim, I first had to get over my fear of deep water.  My friend had a pool in her backyard and let me use it to hire a private instructor for a few lessons.  When I felt comfortable enough, I continued lessons at my local YMCA.  Before long I could tread water in the deep end and swim the length of the pool.  I was so determined to learn and not be afraid that I was the star pupil of the class.  I kept my progress report as a reminder of how far I had come.  

I do like knowing that I have a good chance of saving my life if the situation should ever arise, but I’m not sure if I will ever be comfortable swimming in the ocean; the thought of all the ocean creatures beneath me kind of unnerves me.  The ocean absolutely fascinates me, but I like learning about it from visiting the aquarium or watching Imax films at the museum. However, I do try to push myself every now and then, just to keep my fear under control, and ultimately, conquer it.   This past summer I went jet-skiing in the ocean and boogie-boarding as well.   And someday soon I plan to take surfing lessons.  I gotta get ready for my future life as a beach-bum.

Betcha didn’t know that…..

#1  I have a bad temper, I’m pretty fearless and I hate punks.  And that has gotten me into trouble. 

#2  I have toys in my home office.  And they’re all mine.

#3  I have a library call number.

#4  I was a Keebler elf.

#5  I hate sneezes.

#6  I was a small part of the Minneapolis Sound.

#7  My father calls me Sam.

#8  People think that I am Ethiopian.

#9  I was a Club Med G.O.

© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.

There’s a note going around on Facebook, “25 Random Facts About Me”, where people tag you to read their 25 random facts and then you are supposed to in turn write 25 facts about yourself.  I liked reading about my friends and definitely found out things that I didn’t know before.  Well, I figured that I needed more room than Facebook allowed, so why not bring it on home where I can get really funki?  Get ready to find out more than you ever wanted to know about Funkidivagirl.

Betcha didn’t know that….

#9  I was a Club Med G.O.

If you are not familiar with Club Med, you can read all about in a blog post that I wrote awhile back.  ”G.O.’s” are the name of the people who work at Club Med, usually for 6 months at a time at one Club before transferring to another one.  It’s a fun, feel-wheeling nomadic life and most people work there for many years.  I was 18 years old and spending the summer working at Club Med for college credit.  

My first Club was at Sonora Bay in Mexico. Talk about an eye-opening experience!  Now many Club Meds are family-friendly and just like other resort vacation spots, but back then, not so.  The Clubs were in remote locations with intentionally spartan accommodations; the rooms had no televisions, phones, alarm clocks or mini-bars.  But the rooms were insignificant to the Club Med experience; the grounds were beautiful, the food was magnificent and the G.O’s were there to entertain the guests day and night.   A G.O. was never off-duty.  After my “day job” was performed (I was a hostess for breakfast and dinner), I had the rest of the day to do what I wanted (in my case take tennis lessons, go horse-back riding or just hang out by the pool), but I was expected to chat with guests, eat with them, play games with them, put on an evening show and even encourage them to dance at the beach disco at night.  It was fun, but very exhausting.  By the end of my six weeks there, I was ready to move on.

The next Club Med I went to was, at that time, the only Club in North America in Copper Mountain Colorado.  This was a ski resort in the winter and a camp in the summer for kids from around the world.  Nestled at the foot of a mountain, it was absolutely beautiful.  It took me awhile to get used to the high altitude, but I had a blast going hiking, white water rafting and doing tons of other outdoorsy activities.  What fun!–until the kids came.  I was in charge of the 7 year old girls and up until that point, I thought that I liked kids and would be a good camp counselor.  I was wrong.  The kids were bratty and whiny and I really didn’t like being with them all day every day.  And to make matters worse, I really didn’t get along with the Chef de Village (the boss of the Club).   His name was Tutune, an older french man who was a rude, male chauvinist pig.  His girlfriend, Poo Poo, lived with him at the Club; she was about 22 years old, pouty and spoiled.  Anyway, one day I had enough of Tutune, my temper got the best of me, and we got into a heated argument.  As punishment, I got sent home 2 weeks early.   I didn’t care; that man was crazy.  I only cared if it affected my grade and thankfully it didn’t.  

All in all, even with the crazy french man, it was a great experience and fueled my desire for adventure. Some of my fellow college students who were also G.O.’s that summer loved it so much that they didn’t even go back to school in the fall, but instead became full time G.O.’s.  I didn’t go that far (my parents would have killed me), but I do have a special love for Club Med and try to vacation there whenever possible.  If you haven’t been to a Club Med, you should go; I promise that the G.O.’s will make sure that you have a wonderful time.  And even though he’s got to be pretty old by now, if you run into a crazy french man named Tutune, give a one-two punch for me.  Just kidding.  Kind of.

Betcha didn’t know that….

#1  I have a bad temper, I’m pretty fearless and I hate punks.  And that has gotten me into trouble. 

#2  I have toys in my home office.  And they’re all mine.

#3  I have a library call number.

#4  I was a Keebler elf.

#5  I hate sneezes.

#6  I was a small part of the Minneapolis Sound.

#7  My father calls me Sam.

#8  People think that I am Ethiopian. 

© 2009, Funkidivagirl.com. All rights reserved. Republished only with permission.