Sometimes I get so bogged down in all that I have to do: the kids, the house, my sales agent gig and trying to find some time to work on things that interest me (my blog & the many business ideas that I have), not to mention exercise and personal growth–it is impossible to do within the hours of 8:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Monday-Friday (not counting the many, MANY school holidays) because after 2:30 p.m. when I pick up Kid 1 from school and then 3:15 p.m. when I pick up Kid 2, it’s on like Donkey Kong.  (A note: my kids go to the same school, but they are dismissed 45 minutes apart.  The administration just wants to torture me for having kids so far apart in age).

Then the REAL work begins until I lay my head down at 11:00 p.m., which could mean on any given day: a school meeting, drop off/pick up from Brownies, orchestra, basketball practice, art class and violin lessons; then back at home for violin practice, help with homework, dinner, a bath & book for the little one and admonishment and pleas for the older one to shower and get to bed at a reasonable hour.  I feel like I have a perpetual “to do” list that never gets done as something else is always added.

And so sometimes I lose sight of the big picture and need reminding.  Recently I was at a school function and talking with a faculty member who I admire for her wit, dedication to the school and also her commitment to her kids.  She has one child out of college and working and one child still in college, so her nest is (mostly) empty.  She was asking me about my kids, who she knows very well, and myself.  I replied that the kids were great, but I was kind of crazy with the running around now that it was basketball season again.  She looked at me and said with a little wistfulness, “But these are the best days of your life, when your children are at home; enjoy them.”  That kind of started me, as I know that she has taken up painting, Pliates classes and traveling more–basically enjoying her empty nest.  And while yes, I do enjoy my children very much, part of me is longing for more TIME for myself to explore all that is inside of me; all that untapped potential that has been at the grocery store, doing laundry or building science projects.  

Over the last few days I have been reflecting on what she said and she is right.  While I do look forward to the next phase of my life with more time to myself and will welcome a new relationship with my grown children, I will miss these days of early morning kisses, fall days in the park and laughing together at the dinner table. 

I am currently reading Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck and one chapter helps the reader to identify what brings them true joy (versus fleeting happiness).  So far I have identified that animals, art, reading/writing, being near the ocean and spending time with my family brings me joy.  To that end,  I am taking horseback riding lessons, getting a dog soon and started my blog.  And of course, I have my beautiful family.  I’m just missing the ocean, and I am confident that I will make that happen in the future.  As for the art, look at this portrait of me that my daughter drew as I was paying the bills the other afternoon.  Isn’t it good?  I am so pleased that I have passed on my love of art to her!

I put this up in my office as a reminder. See, I’m smiling. What a joyous life I have!  

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