15 years ago I married James Andrews.  This is how we met:

On October 6th, 1991 at Lindberg Park in Culver City, California I had a picnic/party to celebrate my friend Kecia’s birthday.  I was a second year graduate student at UCLA and as a nice gesture, I invited the first year graduate students.  A student named Gary came to the picnic, but not alone: he was accompanied by his friend Sir, who also brought James.  So that means that James was a double party-crasher!  James said later that he thought that I was really cute in my orange Stussy hat.  I honestly don’t remember him being at the park; when we got the photos back from the developer Kecia and I said, “Who’s that guy?”  Funny!  But isn’t it great that I have photos of the day we met?

After the picnic we kept running into each other on UCLA’s campus.  One day James saw me sitting near The Bear reading and asked me if I wanted to get some cheesecake at Jimmy’s Coffeehouse.  I was impressed that he (an undergraduate) knew about Jimmy’s (a graduate student hang-out).  Besides, who am I to turn down free cheesecake?   We kept in touch after that, but the first “real” date was months later on January 21, 1992.  James took me to Hamlet Gardens, a nice restaurant in Westwood, for dinner.  I thought that was pretty impressive, but I later found out that he had cleaned out his bank account for that meal!  The next day we went to see a live taping of the show Roc and on Valentine’s Day we officially became a couple.  A year later, on February 11, 1993 he proposed.

If you look real close, you can see a tiny bit of “bling” on my finger.

We were married on November 27, 1993.

Look at them; so innocent! They didn’t know WHAT they are getting into!

Through the years we have had lots of fun together throwing parties…..

going on vacation…..

or just hanging out.

Parenting our children together gives us so much joy.

We have also gone through some rough times over the years: the L.A. Rodney King riots, stressful moves to New York, New Jersey and Atlanta, illness and deaths of family members, 2 big medical scares with our daughter, a major earthquake, and even tremors in our own marriage.

It’s not easy being married and we have taken our hits.  But I am happy to say that we have come out on the other side victorious.    We have learned that our marriage is not just for us or our kids, but it is a living testimony of God’s unending grace and a reflection of his love.  As a result, we take our marriage vows very seriously.  In 2005 we were baptized together as a symbol of our re-commitment to Christ and each other.

I don’t know the “secret” to a happy and long marriage, but after 15 years we are wiser and much kinder to each other.  I think kindness matters.  Always there is laughter and music in our house and we truly enjoy being around each other; we are each other’s favorite person.  We’re at a very busy time in our life working hard and raising our kids and we don’t always take the time to be alone like we should, but we don’t beat ourselves up about it; we have time.  Like forever.  That sounds good to me!

Apple pie, carmel apples, applesauce–apples are good right?  Well, maybe the food, but I wasn’t a believer in Apple the technology until recently.

My husband gets all the credit for keeping me technologically current.  He insisted that I get my first Palm long ago and then he bought me a Treo a few years ago and I loved it.  With the Treo I became hooked on having an organizational tool at my fingertips.  It is important to note that I did not activate the mobile feature on my Treo as I did not want to be connected 24/7.

When my husband got an iPod and then a MacBook he became a lover of all things Apple and never looked back; in fact, I think he’s sort of obsessed.  

My first baby step over to the Apple side (or the right side, my husband would say), came when I bought an iPod to use at the gym; my workout went a lot faster listening to podcasts.  Then when I needed a new laptop, I made the MacBook my choice (with a lot of coercing from my husband).  There was a learning curve, but a class at the Apple store helped tremendously and now I can work my MacBook just as well as he can.

A few months ago I decided that I needed a new phone and my husband was urging me to get a new 3G iPhone (of course), but I was not buying into the hype.  I loved my Treo and had planned to just buy a newer version, but when I found out that Verizon didn’t carry the new Treo, I became more open to the iPhone.   Still, I had to make sure that the iPhone would actually satisfy my needs.  At the suggestion of an Apple employee, I made a list of all the ways that I use my Treo and brought the list into the Apple store (yes, I’m crazy like that); the employee went over each item and showed me an iPhone application that could perform that function.  In the end I did buy the iPhone, but I am happy that I made an informed, well-thought out decision.

So now I’ve had my iPhone for a couple of months.  I have finally transitioned all of my Treo information and have used the iPhone enough to give an educated opinion.  The verdict?  I LOVE MY IPHONE!  There, my husband, that was for you: you were right.  I know that you don’t hear that often from me so I’ll say it again, YOU WERE RIGHT; Apple rocks!

Contrary to my earlier sentiment about not wanting to be connected, I love being able to check my email on my phone.   Since I am so mobile anyway driving my kids all over the world, at least I can surf the internet and read my email on the run and therefore have less to do when I arrive back at home.  

I confess; I’ve become one of those sick people comparing iPhone applications at kids’ birthday parties and school functions.  Well, now that it’s out there, here are some of the iPhone applications that I use :

 

Twitterific: Mirco-blogging on the go! It feeds the Twitter addiction.  

Facebook: Now I can update my status anytime and anywhere.  I particularly love being able to upload mobile photos: Me!–in the park; Me!–at the store.  My everyday life seems more exciting when I post it on Facebook.

Grocery iQ: My personalized list is organized according to my local Whole Foods aisles.  They even have brand names in the application.  And I like that I can email the list to my husband to pick up a few things on the way home from work.

Things: This is my master to do list for work, chores, and life.  I use the desktop application to input information and then sync with my iPhone.  One look at the “Today” list keeps me focused and stress-free.

mSecure: A secure place for my many web passwords.  My mommy-brain sometimes get overloaded.

Notebook: I keep lists of restaurants to visit, wine labels to try, etc.

PhotoNote: If I see something out in the world that I want to remember, I take a photo and attach a note. This will especially come in handy during holiday shopping.

SplashShopper: I had this on my Treo and used it to death, so I was so happy to see it available for the iPhone.  I keep running lists for Target, the mall, gifts ideas, movies to see, and books to read.  The desktop application syncs with my Macbook for easy entry of items.  It makes running errands a breeze.

 

My son also has an iPhone (hand-me-down from my husband) and he has many more applications than I do.  Here is just a small list of his favorites along with his reviews:

 

Dactyl-Mauvila Software (FREE):  The MUST HAVE classic iPhone game. Surprisingly fun for such a simple game. You just tap the bombs as they turn red before they explode.

Sonic Lighter-Smule ($0.99): There is a free lighter, Zippo Lighter, that is pretty good, but this lighter is amazing. You can tilt your light to ‘singe’ the sides of your phone, turn on the gas to make a blowtorch, view a world map of people who are using the app, and blow the flame out using the microphone. However, the best feature is the ability to light other people’s phones that have the app open. You turn on the blowtorch (with the sound on) and put your phone to the other phone. The app also has the ability to light Smule’s bomb app, Sonic Boom.

Pandora Radio-Pandora Media (FREE): Pandora is an iPhone based version of the website.  If you’re not familiar with Pandora, it’s a music service where you type in an artist, and it comes up with songs by that artist and songs like that artist, creating a ‘radio station’.  You can put multiple artists on a station, or do a QuickMix which shuffles your stations.

Recorder-Retronyms ($0.99):  Simple recording app that allows you to name your recordings. It has a pretty good sound quality for a cheap app.

SnapTell Explorer-Snaptell (FREE): This app allows you to take pictures of the covers of CDs, DVDs, and books, and brings up reviews and price comparisons of the product.

TapTap Revenge-Tapulous (FREE): This is sort of like guitar hero for the iPhone.  You tap the colored dots and shake your phone to the beat of the music.  You can download extra songs by artists like Michael Franti, Weezer, and Katy Perry.  The new update allows you to play song simultaneously against people worldwide.  The other MUST HAVE classic iPhone game.

Texas Hold’em-Apple ($4.99):  This is the most expensive app this cheapskate has ever bought, but I think it was worth all the money.  You play against video characters who show emotions like joy of winning, bluffing, etc.  You can also play turn-by-turn (portrait) or whole table (landscape). Very well done for the money.

Trace-Kevin Calderone (FREE): In this game, you control a stick figure that has to move through obstacles, but you must draw him safe paths to get to his destination. Very creative and fun.

Wikipanion-Robert Chin (FREE): This is the easiest way to access Wikipedia from your iPhone.

 

So if you are like I used to be and don’t believe the Apple hype, maybe this blog post wet your appetite.  I urge you take a bite, taste and see that it’s good.

My daughter learned how to jump rope this summer and she brought back so many memories of my childhood.   All I needed was my Keds, a jump rope and my girls and I was good to go.  Like my daughter now, I jumped rope during recess at school–that is, when I wasn’t knocking out kids at 4 Square.

Here she is learning how to jump rope.  At first she didn’t quite have it, but she was a quick study and had it down in no time.

 

I had completely forgotten that song that she is singing!  That made me think of the songs that I used to sing while jumping rope.  During my jump-roping years I lived in Chicago and the South suburbs of Chicago, but I also spent summers with my grandparents in Alabama; jumping rope in both places, I realized that jump rope rhymes are regional.   Some of the songs were the same, with minor changes and some of them were completely different.  These are the songs that I remember, although I’m not quite sure where I learned them. 

 

Mable Mable

Mable Mable set the table

Just as fast as you are able

And don’t forget the

Red hot peas!

(On “peas” jump as fast as you can until you miss.)

 

Down in The Valley

Down in the valley where the green grass grows,

There sat Sherrelle as sweet as a rose.

She sang, she sang, she sang so sweet,

Along came James and kissed her on the cheek.

How many kisses did she get?

(Count until the jumper misses.)

 

Stepped in the Water

Stepped in the water, boom ba

The water was cold, boom ba

Chilled my body, boom ba

But not my soul, boom ba

Hopping on 1, boom ba

Hopping on 2, boom ba

(…..etc. Counting until the jumper misses.)

 

Jack Be Nimble

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,

Jack jumped over the freedom stick.

You gotta do those pop-ups 10-1

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

 

Old King Mamba (?)

Old King Mamba, reading the news

Brought himself a new pair of shoes.

And when those shoes begin to wear,

Old King Mamba said “I declare!”

I can do the mumble, mumble, mumble

I can do the splits, splits, splits

I can do the sizzler, sizzler, sizzler

I can do the kicks, kicks, kicks

(The jumper performs the above motions while jumping.)

 

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn around

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, touch the ground

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, show your shoe

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, that will do

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, climb the stairs

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, say your prayers

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, turn out the light

Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, say good night!

 

Last Night

Not last night, but the night before

24 robbers at my door.

I jumped up when they got in,

Hit them on the head with a rolling pin.

 

And of course there was Double Dutch jumping in both Chicago and Alabama.  Although guys jumped too, mostly it was girls doing Double Dutch in my day. The way the boys talked trashed on the basketball court?–It was the same way with Double Dutch.  You had to have GAME to jump in some neighborhoods!  My cousins lived on the South Side of Chicago and I wouldn’t even think of trying to do Double Dutch in their neighborhood, as I was admittedly game-less.   I was the person on the side “digging her mashed potatoes” (for those who don’t know, this meant standing on the side, bobbing back and forth, taking forever to jump in).  And I couldn’t turn around or do tricks or anything while jumping;  I was just happy to get in and stay in without messing up! 

Despite my inepdtness at Double Dutch, I love watching people jump.  To me, it is both a sport and an art form. Check out this video from The New York Times shot at the Double Dutch Holiday Classic at The Apollo Theater in Harlem:

 

 

While my daughter now loves to jump rope, I don’t think that she will be jumping Double Dutch anytime soon.  Mommy doesn’t have enough skill to pass it on and she doesn’t go to school, live in or visit neighborhoods where Double Dutch is played regularly.  I was really pleased when The Disney Channel made the movie Jump In, starring Corbin Bleu and Keke Palmer.  If you haven’t seen it,  you and your kids will love it, if just for the final competition scene.

Although we’ve seen it many times on The Disney Channel, I think that I will buy it.  Maybe my daughter and I can watch it together and slow-mo the moves.  She can learn and I can get better.  

 

What are your fondest jump rope memories?  Do you remember any jumping songs?  Are you a Double Dutch legend in your old neighborhood?  Please share!

*I don’t get paid for my opinions in any way; this is just me sharing stuff that I like and I think you will too.

 

When I cannot look at your face

I look at your feet.

Your feet of arched bone,

your hard little feet.

I know that they support you,

and that your sweet weight

rises upon them……

…..But I love your feet

only because they walked

upon the earth and upon

the wind and upon the waters,

until they found me.

*except from Pablo Neruda’s poem “Your Feet”

My husband, who has read that poem to me, has a thing for my feet.  No, not anyone’s feet, my feet.  He is always waxing poetic about my cute toes and caressing my feet in his hands.  Now, if that isn’t a motivator to keep my feet looking right, I don’t know what is.  Despite the name (and being a self-proclaimed skin-care junkie), Funkidivagirl is not very high maintenance.  I take care of my own hair, wear very little make-up and give myself manicures.  I actually HATE any kind of beauty appointment.  However there are a few things that I keep up: eyebrow waxing, quarterly facials and pedicures.  All that to me is just basic maintenance.  And I only like pedicures because I get to read while getting a foot massage. 

Most people get pedicures in the warmer months when their feet are exposed (If you don’t, please do;  if not for yourself, do it for those of us who have to look at your crusty feet.  Think of it as a community service.)   But during the colder months, most people stop the pedicures and let their feet turn into monster claws, because well, no one is looking at them in socks and boots. 

But because my husband likes my feet, I feel compelled to keep them decent looking all year around.  I’m a good wife like that.  And also, I often wear Uggs  without socks and sometimes I am forced to take off my shoes unexpectedly, like visiting people with a “shoeless” policy. 

Let me rant a bit here: I do believe that most of the dirt in your home comes in from the outside, on the bottom of your shoes.  In general, my family remove our shoes when we enter the house.  But I am not hardcore about it and I don’t ask visitors to take off their shoes (except when I had a crawling baby).  Those of you who have a RULE about visitors taking off their shoes, please inform us BEFORE we come over to your house.  Then we will be sure to wear hole-less matching socks.  And if you have a party at your house and we have to be shoeless, please put that on the invitation; there is no sense coordinating our outfit to match our fabulous shoes if they are just going to left at the door.  Rant over.

I used to give myself pedicures at home in the winter, but found that I didn’t get the same results as a nail solon.  That is, until I found Ped Egg at my local Target.  

For $10, I thought that I could give it a try and I was pleasantly surprised how smooth my feet felt after just using it one time.  This is my routine at home every couple of weeks; try it.

1. Soak your feet in a basin of warm water.  If you could throw in some Carol’s Daughter Rosemary & Sage Herbal Foot Bath, all the better.

2. Rub your feet with your favorite body scrub.  I just use whatever I find at TJMaxx, but Sephora has tons. 

3. Dry your feet and then use the Ped Egg to make them baby soft smooth.  

4. Apply your favorite lotion and let it sink in a bit.

5. Finally, apply your favorite nail polish.  My girl over at luxetips.com, who blogs about fashion and beauty, hipped me to OPI’s fabulous fall colors; I’m loving their deep purples.

 

Viola!  Beautiful feet!  In no time at all you will have your man caressing your feet and whispering Pablo Neruda in your ear.

 

For the last few weeks much of America has been watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta (although no one likes to admit it); it is for sure an entertaining show.  As for the validity of their lives, I pass no judgement; perhaps the show is a good representation of their lives and perhaps it is not, but it is not the life of any housewife that I know, and certainly not mine.  

 What’s with the word “housewife” anyway?  It actually makes my skin crawl, but I’m not sure why.  I guess that it conjurs up images of June Cleaver in her pearls and heels and perpetual cheerful demeanor.  

Or maybe since the Women’s Movement, any reference to being in the “house” is a reminder of more oppressive times for women.  And frankly “wife” can be a dirty word to some women as they furiously protect their own identity after marrying.  More neutral terms like “partner” or “spouse” don’t carry as much possessive weight as a man saying “you’re my wife.” 

“Stay-At-Home-Mom” is more acceptable to most because the label infers that the woman is at home for her children, and only for her children.  That label becomes a bit stickier as the children get older and go to school.  ”Homemaker” is even a preferred term because Martha Stewart has made it chic to make cooking, decorating and cleaning–homemaking–a life’s work.  The catch is, you have to do it like Martha or it doesn’t count.

Even in discussing the show The Real Housewives of Atlanta, many people were quick to point out that 2 of the women weren’t even married and the majority of them focused on other things besides their families and home.  Clearly, even in 2008 people still have traditional ideas of what a housewife is and isn’t.

Look at me: Do I look like Beaver’s mom?  Or one of The Real Housewives of Atlanta?  Nope!  Too funki for the first, not fabulous enough for the latter.

Well, I am Funkidivagirl (you know, saving the world from mediocrity) and I am taking back the label HOUSEWIFE to mean smart, educated, fun, interesting, fascinating, creative, savvy, strong, funki women who understand the importance of making family and home life a priority and who work hard to make their lives flexible enough to make this a reality.  I believe that this definition is inclusive of a broad spectrum of women: women who don’t work, work at home, own their own businesses, work outside the home part-time, flex-time, or anytime that family life allows.  This housewife understands the importance of being available for her husband, children, friends and community but also that she needs to give equal priority to taking care of herself physically, emotionally and doing things that nurture her soul.  She’s no Sandra Dee wimp, she’s fierce!

Here’s a little interview with myself, talking about what it is like to be a 4 Real Housewife:

Look for more profiles of other 4 Real Housewives really soon.  You would want to subscribe to my blog via email or RSS reader so that you don’t miss a thing.  In the meantime housewives, mop on!

Just kidding